Grieving

Grieving comes all different forms and will be a big part of our lives as we live on this earth from time to time. I used to stuff down those feelings and I realised if you don’t let them out they will come back and come out in not so good ways. I also realized that grief will often bring up other grief in our lives even though we have grieved that person.

I’m feeling sad these days and I’m grieving even though my dad is still alive. I’m grieving that loss of relationship. I am slowly watching dementia take a man I love. I see less and less of him and more and more of dementia. I see it taking the relationship my mom has with him.

I’ve been shedding lots of tears and I feel those emotions very close to the surface. This transition is so very hard. I know he’s going to a good place and will be well looked after. I can’t imagine him not at his home. I spent yesterday with both my mom and my dad and watching how each week the dementia taking more and more of my dad. It makes him older and even though I still see my dad in there, that change is more and more recognizable.

It brings up all the hard losses I’ve experienced this year. I miss my friend Wendy so very much. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. I’ve shed a lot of tears. My old counselor she told me that if I never loved people then I would never experience the love that I feel In my heart now. Love is awesome, love is hard and love can be painful. Even though it’s really hard I wouldn’t have missed these opportunities for anything.

I would appreciate prayers for my family especially my mom during this transition. Thank you 🙏❤️🙂