Beauty from Ashes.

I’m struggling with the diagnosis of my friend. Today I went out and ran errands and it seems as though a dark cloud was following me. I put on my favorite music and the sun was shining and was warm outside but i felt like a robot outside. I’m so devestated by the news nothing seems to matter.

I did my gratitude this morning but it all seems insignificant. Everything overwhelmes me. I feel glimpses of hope but they seem far and few between. I feel helpless all I can do is pray and be there for the others in our group.

I don’t want this for my friend. All the feelings I felt from my best friend Wendy who died all have come bubbling up to the surface. All the feelings when my dad died. I hate them. I want to run away and stop feeling all of this. I’m trying to be strong. I’ve given it to the Lord. I want all of this to be different. So many unanswered questions.

I’ve started sending encouragement scriptures everyday to Tracy. I’m sure she’s still processing all of this as well. She’s getting many tests done and I’m so glad her mom is with her now.

Writing helps me process those feelings I don’t want to feel right now. As I keep saying hold on to your loved ones tight. Life is short.

I’m glad I have work this next week to keep my brain busy and I have wonderful friends who check in and see how I’m doing. This to is part of life, even though I don’t like it.

I appreciate you reading my thoughts on this topic. One blessing today is the clocks sprung forward and will stay like that now. Love this more light now as we head into Spring. Happy Sunday everyone. 🌸🌺🌹🌷🌻🌼

As I sit here this morning with coffee in hand hanging out with my labradoodle. It’s peaceful and quiet here. Today I opened the windows and I can feel the fresh air in my home. I can hear the birds singing . Spring is in the air. I love Spring it’s new growth, new life and days are longer.

The other day driving back from doggie daycare I saw baby lambs skipping and running by their moms in the field. I love lambs so much. Growing up in Ireland I used to feed baby lambs with a bottle. They suck on their bottles so quickly.

After my dad died and I felt such sorrow that I didn’t know if I ever would get over it. I started to do gratitude every morning. 3 things I was grateful for. Sometimes I do more. It helped me in my mindset and helped me see that no matter what was happening in my life, that there is always so many things to be grateful for.

Last night I woke up in the night and prayed for my friend and I prayed for peace because I’ve not felt peace with what is happening with my friend. I was able to meet some of my friends online last night to chat and pray for Tracy. It was just what I needed and I realized that God has a purpose for each of us in our lives. We don’t know why things happen but I do know that God is with us no matter what is happening. I’m blessed to have this amazing community of people who love Tracy as much as I do. You know that you are not alone.

This morning I feel peace again. Surreal peace that only comes from Him. So much to be grateful for. I hope that you all have an amazing Saturday whatever you are doing and live life to the fullest.

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” Isaiah 40:31

Life is short and live it to the fullest. Seems like every time I turn around one of friends has cancer or some thing else. I hate it. I know we see it every day and hear about it. It’s hard really hard when it’s someone close to you. It puts it in a whole other perspective.

This week one of my friends whom I’ve known for 12 years has lung cancer and its matastized into her brain. I’m stunned by this news. She’s young to have this happen. I’m devestated by this news. I can’t imagine how she feels about it all. Not the news any of us hoped for.

She’s a strong believer in the Lord and always puts people first before herself. I’ve gotten to know her well over the years. She’s an amazing person. I keep thinking how this can happen. I guess we never know what life holds for us.

I do believe In the power of prayer even though I feel discouraged by the whole thing. I lift her up to you Lord and pray for her and her family. I pray for the next steps whatever they look like. Tracy is part of my life Church life group and we have done zoom meetings every Tuesday night for the last 12 years. We are a close knit group so we will go through this together for support and connection, no matter what this looks like.

I don’t know how this will turn out only God knows and I have to trust Him in all of this. If you pray, please pray for Tracy she’s near and dear to my heart. ♥️

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths”  Proverbs 3 5-6

It’s almost two weeks since the horrific school shooting in Tumbler Ridge up north in BC. A small community of 2700 people in a close knit community. I’ve not been able to write about it, I just couldn’t figure out how to. Even today it’s hard to write about it.

This hit home in a big way. About a month ago we did a practice lockdown drill with our school. I can’t imagine having to do one for something other then a drill. Our school districts mourned loss of the 8 people who were shot and killed two weeks ago.

I won’t go into the details but you can read about them yourself if you want. Today we honor all 8 who died in this tragedy. One was an EA that worked at the high school and a teacher.

All died so young. I can’t imagine the pain their families feel.

It’s so hard to understand why they lost their lives. The community and surrounding communities are devestated. Two children were air lifted to Vancouver Children’s Hospital and one that was shot in the chest is back home again.

Maya is still fighting for her life. She’s touched my heart in so many ways. She went to close the doors of the library to protect the others who were in there. She saved many lives but got shot twice in the head by doing so.

She was air lifted to Vancouver and the doctors told her family that they needed to say goodbye to her, that she would not survive the night. Her family said no we will not say goodbye to her.

Yesterday she opened one of her eyes and she’s been moving around in bed and is slowly breathing on her own. Yesterday she was holding her mom’s hand. Last night Maya had emergency surgery to take the pressure off her brain with the fluids.

This girl is a fighter and the whole world is praying for her and her family. We never know what our future holds. To be told to say goodbye to her to this is Amazing. Please pray for Maya her sister and her family. Maya has extensive damage to her brain from two gunshots in her brain. We still don’t know the extent of the shooting.

Another reminder that life is so precious. Hug your children today hold them close. ❤️

Last week was my dogs dental surgery. He had 8 teeth removed and they wanted to take out two more. They said they were comprised but very deep rooted and their was a risk of fracturing his jaw. I said no he would already have to recover from the 8 teeth he just had removed. They have given me 18 months to decide what to do with them.

I guess the option was to go to a vet dentist. It would be nice to not have to have them removed as they are crucial teeth. I will look into what is best. Who knows where my dog will be in a year and a half.

I was a little worried about the surgery as I’ve never had surgery done on any of my dogs. He’s a trooper and it is crazy how quickly he bounced back after the surgery.

He’s on two weeks of recovery no toys which is really hard. He uses his toys as a way to calm down and he loves to play. No hard food or bones and no chewing. He’s missing his buddies at daycare. We have one more week at home.

It’s hard to keep a dog entertained when he can’t do much of anything. Sunday was his 9th birthday and I got him a lick mat. His birthday will be postponed for a few weeks. I’m not sure where 9 years went. Poof and they were gone.

I’m so glad I get many more years with him. Hopefully he won’t need more teeth out.🙂

I love this dog so much. 9 years ago he changed my life in ways that I could never imagine. He’s a huge part of my life and can’t imagine him not in it. I do know that one day he will won’t be in my life. I hold onto the time we have.

Wednesday he gets his teeth cleaned and put under to get bad teeth removed. I feel peace about it and I pray that he makes it through. A friend reminded me yesterday about love.

” Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.
Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.“
Henri Nouwen

It’s a good reminder but yes love is hard even when it’s your pet. They are a huge part of your family. At the end of January Zeke turns 9. I’m not sure where the time has gone. His teeth cleaning will be good best gift to get him back into healthy. I love forward to the many more years we have together. ❤️

My dog needs dental surgery to have his teeth cleaned and get some teeth removed. When I first heard about it I believe in the power of prayer so I started praying. It’s hard when I live pay cheque to pay cheque. Where on earth was I coming up with $1500. Thank goodness I had pet insurance as it paid $1200 of the bill. I reached out to friends and in prayed as well. I had to trust that God has a plan.

This past week I have full amount for the surgery. I’m blessed beyond belief that’s for sure. I’m so thankful for the two people who gave me money for the surgery.

As I was sending the breakdown of surgery to one of the people. I realized that there are forms added to it that I need to sign before surgery. In case something happens I have to sign do the vets resuscitate Zeke and how much money can they use to do it. Or do I sign no resuscitation. I’ve been very teary eyed and have read that sometimes CPR can cause more problems after the fact.

I sometimes hate making these decisions on my own. I realized that I’m not making these decisions on my own, I have the Lord. So I spent the weekend praying about what I should do.

This morning I was not thinking about Zeke and his surgery and I was praying and I felt that I will sign no resuscitation. I do not want Zeke to suffer in any way shape or form. That’s a tough decision one that tears me up but it’s also not a selfish decision. I can’t imagine him not in my life. Some day be will die but I’m hoping to get more years with him.

After meeting my mom today she was so encouraging and said just what I needed to hear today. I was driving home with surgery on my mind and praying for peace. I saw this bird flying low in fact right where I could see him. I thought wow that big bird is pretty low. I saw it was a bald eagle.🦅 Just what I needed today.

God shows me bald eagles 🦅 as a way to tell me that everything is going to be ok. Thanks Lord. I love how putting my trust in Him for all things is so amazing.

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding ; and in all ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.” Proverbs 3: 5-6

So next time your struggling with a decision, reach out to the Lord and pray about it and trust that He will come up with a decision. I do know that our ways are not always the best and God may choose something different that’s when better then we could ever imagine. ❤️

Happy New year to all my readers. Thanks so much for all your support, likes and comments over the years. I look forward to reading what you write and writing more things from my heart. May 2026 be an amazing year for each of us. 😊

It doesn’t matter where you have come from don’t ever give up on your dreams. Dreams are what keep you going. When it seems like things will never change. If I gave up on my dreams I would never be where I am today. I always dreamed of a better life and had no idea the opportunities that I had when I moved from Ireland to Canada. I used to dream about my mom who she was and spending time with her away from all the horrible things that happened to me as a child.

I’m so glad I never gave up on those dreams because now I have an amazing relationship with my mom and my family. I dreamed I would be able to work with children. Not only did that dream come true I have been able to stand in the gap for others. I also have the privilege of doing respite care for a boy I’ve known for 9 years. He’s one of the biggest joys in my life. So even though I didn’t have children of my own I’ve been blessed to be part of so many children’s lives. That is the ultimate blessing.

I dreamed of working with children in school. School for me growing up was my safe place. I love my job so much even though I’m challenged lots. It’s so good to be able to make a difference in the lives of children. I have been able to build amazing trusts with children who have trauma. Those children come running over to me and give me hugs. That bond I will never lose.

I now dream that I will become successful in my business. I have a health and wellness business. Helping others with drug free technology. Tech that is 50 years beyond it’s time. There is nothing like it in the entire world. If I ever had given up on my dreams I would never be where I am now. Fight for your dreams no matter how hard they seem. The fight will be worth it. ❤️