Beauty from Ashes.

I love how much I’m learning and growing in my disruptive nutrition program. I’ve been in it almost a month and a half now. It’s like night and day now since I started. The biggest thing I have learned is how to love myself. I was the person who hated shopping because of all the mirrors in the change rooms. Why on earth do you need 6 mirrors in your Change room? So that you can see your body from all sides. It was hard enough seeing the front side. I always left feeling horrible. I then would take clothes home and bring them back, if they didn’t fit.

Carrie Lupoli is a nutritionist and a behavioural specialist. I often hear her say “You know what to do but you don’t do it”. This can be for anything in your life. Exercise you know that it will keep you healthy but you start it and then you give up when it’s hard. You know eating cleaner will help you feel better but you never stick to it. You know if you budget better each money your money problems will go away, but no matter how hard you keep all the receipts and write everything down. It doesn’t get better, it seems worse then ever. Why?

If you lower your stresses then you will be happier, because you know that stress is a killer. You do all the breathing, walking , listen to music, journal and pray etc but you still feel stressed. Why?

I never knew why none of these things ever worked. It wasn’t from lack of trying. I would feel so frustrated. It’s like the hamster on the same wheel but a different day.

When I joined Disruptive Nutrition (DN) I realized that I couldn’t figure out these things because I needed systems to help me. Systems are goals you have for different areas of your life. Then breaking down the goals into smaller more manageable goals to help in areas of your life. It’s the 1% progress everyday.

Without knowing how systems work is why I was never successful with different areas in my life. Small consistent things everyday build into how to build your life successfully.

One of my biggest things is my budget. I have a budget and a credit counsellor who gave me a budget sheet and checks in every two months or so. I really tried to follow his sheet, did all the things he suggested and slowly as the weeks went by went back into chaos. I’m so tired of feeling stressed about money. Do I have enough well I make it from pay cheque to pay cheque? Will I have another surprise this month. It’s never ending.

Monday I have a call with budgetbesties and my birthday is coming up. My gift to myself with my birthday money is to take their budgeting course. It’s run very similar to Dave Ramsey’s program. I will keep you updated on how it goes.

I love that I can learn how to put all my systems together so that life can run smoothly 1% progress. 1% is attainable. I’m learning how to make those decisions in my life that I need to better myself. I’m loving the results and I feel amazing. I can stand and look at myself in the mirror and be proud of the person I see. I’m learning how amazing gratitude is every day and for the first time in a long time I feel happier and more content.❤️

Hero was a horse who was supposed to die. He was taken up into the high desert and shot twice in the head. Instead of dying he wandered around with a lead rope on and who knows how long it took, he stumbled into a workers Camp.

The workers called the authorities who took Hero to the vet. He had lost so much blood. The vets worked on him and had to remove one of his eyes. My friend Kim Meeder her and her husband Troy run a ranch that rescues horses. Kim was told about this horse and was asked if he survives could be come to the ranch.

Not only did Hero live he became a true Hero to so many people and children who visited the ranch. It’s hard to imagine that he had two eyes before because Hero ran like the wind and he became the protector of the other horses at the ranch.

I had the amazing privilege of getting to know Hero everytime I went to the ranch. The first time I met Hero was 15 years ago. I was at an information clinic. I was handed his reigns while my friend Kim was talking to someone. Hero kept trying to follow her.

His story touched me in so many ways. After that when I would come to the ranch he would follow me up the hill to the ranch. He was such a magnificent horse. His story always inspired me. He should have died from being shot twice but it made him get up and go for help. His preservance showed, his entire life. People all around grew to love Hero who he was. The ranch chose his name. Every horse gets a new name when they come here.

I last saw Hero 7 years ago and I was out in the field where he was helping feed the horses. Thank you Hero for helping me see what no matter where you have been you can survive anything.

https://youtu.be/V7LSfahFF8c?si=p6W76djsWfIkRCf7

Here is the video of Hero if you want to see why I loved this horse so much. The person who shot him twice was also found and prosecuted for what he had done. You left an Amazing legacy Hero. I can picture you running free in heaven. 🐴

For so long I had no idea how to end my memoirs. It seemed like their were more pieces to the puzzle but I had no idea what they were. I now see God using me in different areas of my life to come to where I am today. His plans for me are just the way He planned it. Today I heard that it’s easier for someone else to see where you are in life. It’s harder for me when we are right in the middle of it.

I’m just at the end of my week 3 with my nutrition program. I feel amazing. I eat every 3 hours  protein,  fat and  carbs. I love how simple it is to eat. I quickly realized that it’s not just about food. Food is a very small part of my program.

There are 6 spinning plates that need to balanced. Nutrition, sleep, stress, hydration, exercise and supplementation. I’m learning the root of why I ate the way I did and how I had a really unhealthy relationship with food at an early age. How I used food as a way to soothe my emotions.

I realized today that I went from one addiction to the next one and without knowing the root cause I replaced two other addictions with food. I no longer struggle with the other two but food became a comfort for me. It’s spun my life out of control and I had no idea how to stop doing the same things over and over again. Jumping from one diet to the next messes up your thinking.

I hated going to weight watchers to step on a scale in front of a staff member who would critique how you were doing. I started coming in later but they would catch you at the end. I felt so much shame and a failure and it made me want to eat more. I watched the faces of the people who came every week. I was not the only person. I was so glad when we switched to online.

I stopped going when my membership ran out mid January. I then wondered how was I going to do this alone. I met an amazing woman who is a coach for PFC3. She gave me tips and different things and then I won my scholarship.

I started to unlearn all the things I had been taught in all the diets I’ve done. I have learned why I did and do the things I do. I have 3 amazing coaches who help me and challenge me in my thinking.

Slowly and steady I see so much progress. My biggest thing I see is my joints don’t hurt hardly at all. That’s massive for me. I sleep well and have tons of energy all day long. I had tears of joy this morning because I’ve never felt like this before. My mindset is amazing and I love learning all I am. I love that this is my new for the rest of my life. I never want to go back to where I was.

What I love about this program is nobody is teaching this. Who knew that balancing your blood sugars and your hormones grounded your entire body? Putting your body into homeostasis which means balance would make you feel so good. I feel like I won the lottery. So as I continue my journey of wellness the puzzle slowly gets completed. 🧩

Standing up for myself seems like something that I have to do often in life. Not sure why People think they can treat me in ways that are just not ok. It’s often hard when your family is involved. I’ve stood up and set boundaries with them before and wow they didn’t like that. I find it really hard to watch people in my family treating other people with disrespect.

It does not help at all when the family member encourages their son to continue to be disrespectful. How is that individual supposed to learn that what they are doing is NOT ok.

I’m tired of it all and it does not make the evening enjoyable at all. The only reason I do it is to support my mom. She’s not going to be around forever. Last night I had to call out my nephew for being rude and off hand with me. Even being 20 does not give you the right to be so disrespectful. Life does not just revolve around you. You have a lot of growing up to do.

I wish my brother would be his father not be his best friend. I see this behavior because he thinks it’s ok. It hurts my mom and I certainly do not appreciate it at all. I don’t care if we are related or not.

That’s my Sunday rant. It’s just hard to watch this toxic nonsense going on. I want to be around People that build me up and I feel sad that my family think this is ok.

I have lots of positive people in my life and lots of amazing communities that I belong to. I’m blessed for all I have in my life. I have the most amazing friends. I love each and everyone of you.

Life is precious not to be wasted on idle things What are you grateful today?

Wow so much has been going on in the last month. Thought I’d update you. Life is pretty exciting right now. Last month I won a full scholarship to a program called Disruptive Nutrition. It’s a program that teaches you how to live your life without diets and how you balance your entire life. You work on nutrition, sleep, exercise, stress, hydration and supplements. You unlearn what the diet industry has taught you. My scholarship is worth over $9,000 and I have a one on one coach.

I do it all online it’s like talking a course on school. I’m learning so many things about myself especially why I do the things I do. I am learning how to balance my BS. My blood sugar, behavioural science and my belief systems.

The last who runs it her name is Carrie Lupoli and she’s a nutritionist and a behavioural specialist. She’s guided tons woman and her program is very successful. I’m very honoured to be part of it all. I love how simple the eating is. I’m on my second week. First week was my prep week and this week my course begins.

I’m learning lots of amazing things and learning all about myself. Yesterday I got to share some of my story with 1,000 plus woman on a webinar. That was good but I was so nervous. If someone told me that I would be taking about health. I would have laughed at you.

I love the community and so many amazing supportive people.

Last Tuesday I finished a 30 day challenge called Vinia hydration challenge. You excerised each day and had to drink at least 2 litres of water. I don’t think my body has drank that much in a very long time.

I love how this product makes you feel. The man who developed it he lives in Israel and he is such an amazing humble man.

There were 3 big prizes and I won the Canadian prize. I’m always the lone Canadian. I won an Oura health ring. That was a huge massive surprise for always showing up.

Thought I needed to update my life it’s been such an amazing blessing and I’m part of so many great communities.❤️

After all the crazy things In my life lately, things have turned around for me. I’m in awe at all the blessings that I have received lately. On the last day of our Spring break two weeks ago, I found out that I won a full scholarship to Disruptive nutrition.

It’s a program where you learn how to balance your blood sugars. They are connected to everything you do in your life. They teach us that diets and diet pills/shots don’t work. That mentality keeps you stuck in restricting your body of what it needs. It focuses you on how your body looks and getting rid of your scales.

Disruptive nutrition is about your self worth and who you are as a person. It’s based on Protein, fats carbs and how to balance your 6 plates. Nutrition blood sugar stabilization , sleep, stress, hydration, exercise and supplementation.

I won a full scholarship so I get one on one coaching and learning how to live my best life 1% at a time. I can’t wait to change my life and unlearn all the bad habits I have. I’m looking forward to learning new things and learning from people who have been where I am. I’ve heard it’s life changing.

From early on in childhood I have had an unhealthy relationship with food. I’m feeling so blessed to have this opportunity.

I’ve been in this hydration challenge for a company called Vinia.

You can see what Vinia is all about.

https://vinia.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorUWpZIN8rWb0jH7JUuPsJUpaHy7icznnS1QunXqjYweNvIIx8b

It’s all about the importance of blood flow. I’m in this challenge where you drink 2 litres of water with electrolytes in it and move your body. That’s all you have to do and post everyday. There are daily prizes and weekly ones and then at the end of the challenge big prizes to be won for all those who posted.

Today I won a variety pack of Vinia electrolytes. That’s awesome because I’ve not tried the products yet. See it’s that simple and you get to feel great.

So many great blessings to count. I’m still in awe about it all. I’m very thankful.

What are you thankful for?

Those who know me, know that I love bald eagles. God sends them to me as a sign from him. In March it was my best friend’s anniversary of her birthday in heaven. I miss her everyday. She was an amazing and I was blessed to know her for as long as I did.

After her birthday I was meeting two of my other friends. We have a Facebook messenger group called The Fantastic Four. Even though there are 3 of us left, Wendy is still with us in spirit. We are still the Fantastic Four.

A couple of days before meeting my friends I was driving in my car and I saw what looked like a bald eagle up in the sky. In fact there wasn’t just one, or two, or three. There were four bald eagles in the sky. What???? They were all flying around each other. I love how high they fly. These ones were not super high so very visible.

I was thrilled beyond belief to see four. I was reflecting and told another friend about it. She told me that the four eagles represented each of us in The Fantastic Four. I love that. Yes as I always say. Wendy may not be here in body but we feel her with each of us every day. Thanks Lord. I look forward to the day that we will be reunited together with all of our loved ones we lost. ❤️🦅

I’m so blessed to have amazing people in my life. True friends understand you more than anyone else. They stand by you in everything you do, whether it’s hard or not. They appreciate you and are ready to lend a hand. You can count on them and I’m realizing that they care and worry about you.

Life has been hard since Larry left. It’s hard to live in an expensive city by yourself. I have a good job but one income seems impossible to do things sometimes. My friends have been and are amazing.

They lift me up and make me smile and laugh. Today I went and got a pedicure. It was so lovely to get out and do something with them.

Yesterday I needed help with something and one of my friends and her husband helped me out. I love that you get to Choose your friends and I have many amazing ones.

On Tuesday I’m meeting two of my friends part of the fantastic four. Wendy is still part of that group even in heaven. I look forward to connecting with them. They both have helped me in times of need. Thank you.

Thanks to everyone who helps me when things get tough. I appreciate you all so much. I also love each and everyone of you. True friends may be hard to find but I have the best ones in mine. I’m blessed. ❤️

Two of my favorite people had birthdays this week in heaven. One was my dad. Wow is he ever missed so much. I got to remember all the amazing times we had. Our laughs, our talks, his guidance his love, our walks on the beach our pizza nights, and so much more.

Instead of crying now I smile when I think of him. I love that mom and i can chat and reminisce about you. I constantly hear stories about you that I’ve never heard before. I miss your guidance with big decisions like now. You were always full of wisdom. Thank you for teaching me all I needed to know.

Happy birthday in heaven. I can’t wait to see you again. Love you ❤️

The day after my dad’s birthday was my best friend’s birthday. She too celebrated in heaven. Our friends this week on her birthday shared our stories about her. I loved all the stories, many I had not heard of before. The ones I knew made me smile and laugh so much.

I had known Wendy since my 20’s she was my wise friend. She always gave me the straight answer even if it made me a tad uncomfortable. I loved her honesty and she wise beyond her years. As I’ve said before Wendy was the person who encouraged me to breed rabbits. We used to hop in the car with all our rabbits and go to the shows.

I loved it so much and Wendy helped me be able to show my rabbits and have a successful rabbit business. I miss our rabbit chats a lot. When she got sick she had to give up her love for the animals. I’m so glad I can take what she taught me and apply to my rabbit today. I no longer show or breed, but have an amazing mini plush lop. He’s an amazing bunny.

Happy birthday in heaven Wendy. Next week I’m meeting with the rest of our fantastic four and we will definitely be talking about you. You are missed everyday by so many. I look forward to seeing you in heaven one day. Love you ❤️

I’m struggling with the diagnosis of my friend. Today I went out and ran errands and it seems as though a dark cloud was following me. I put on my favorite music and the sun was shining and was warm outside but i felt like a robot outside. I’m so devestated by the news nothing seems to matter.

I did my gratitude this morning but it all seems insignificant. Everything overwhelmes me. I feel glimpses of hope but they seem far and few between. I feel helpless all I can do is pray and be there for the others in our group.

I don’t want this for my friend. All the feelings I felt from my best friend Wendy who died all have come bubbling up to the surface. All the feelings when my dad died. I hate them. I want to run away and stop feeling all of this. I’m trying to be strong. I’ve given it to the Lord. I want all of this to be different. So many unanswered questions.

I’ve started sending encouragement scriptures everyday to Tracy. I’m sure she’s still processing all of this as well. She’s getting many tests done and I’m so glad her mom is with her now.

Writing helps me process those feelings I don’t want to feel right now. As I keep saying hold on to your loved ones tight. Life is short.

I’m glad I have work this next week to keep my brain busy and I have wonderful friends who check in and see how I’m doing. This to is part of life, even though I don’t like it.

I appreciate you reading my thoughts on this topic. One blessing today is the clocks sprung forward and will stay like that now. Love this more light now as we head into Spring. Happy Sunday everyone. 🌸🌺🌹🌷🌻🌼