Music Mondays- Touch The Hem of His Garment by William McDowell ft Trinity Anderson

A woman plagued with a health problem for years saw Jesus walking by. She thought to herself if she could just touch the hem of the garment of Jesus, she could be healed. She touched the hem of his garment and was healed. Jesus walks by us every day. We can reach out to him. […]

Music Mondays- Touch The Hem of His Garment by William McDowell ft Trinity Anderson

I reposted this because this is such a powerful story in the Bible and I love this song that Jesusluvsall has chosen to go with his blog. It’s a great way to start our week.

I admire teachers

I had no idea how hard teachers work until I became part of a classroom. They have to juggle all the pieces of their class. Today I was in charge of my class for about 45 minutes. The teacher checked in as she was out in the hallway. I was doing pretty well. Some of the children were drawing in their books, others had their story boxes and the others were reading. Then it slowly started to unfold and then sometime said something that hurt someone else. Then there was tears and high emotions. I had to stop writing in the children’s books and deal with the conflict. The teacher came back and she’s amazing she listens to each child and then again reminds them that we don’t say we are not your friend as it hurts feelings so much. The children really respond to her.

Afterwards I told the teacher in my room wow how do you juggle all of this everyday. I remained calm throughout all of it. She just smiled and said a lot of practice. Teachers tend to get a lot of grief but they sure work really hard to meet the needs of their children. For teachers it’s not just about teaching, it’s about having compassion and understanding. The lady I woke with has a huge heart for her children. I love it because that’s how I am with the children. ❤️

Teachers have not always been were I would want them to be. In Ireland the teachers there seemed like drill sargents. They would hit you on the hand with a ruler or one teacher would throw the blackboard eraser at you if they got mad. I had my head banged on the table. Not all teachers were like that. Mrs. Baker she was the school Librarian and she saved my life with giving me any bills I wanted to read. I loved her so much. I reached out to her a year or so before she passed away and thanked her for all she had done for me in my life. She was my hero. An amazing woman.

When I moved from Ireland to Canada the teachers in my high school were awesome and caring and understanding. They came to my rescue when I was being bullied. My guidence counselor he put a stop to it. I trusted him and he helped me out a lot in my school years. The teachers at this school worked so hard to give me extra help to help me graduate.

Who knew that a shy kid who had never been challenged in her life and who struggled in school so much, could now be able to write with love and compassion about topics that are important to her. I love writing so much it’s like a nessitity in life. I so appreciate all of my readers. Thank you for following me.

Next time you hear about teachers and someone is complaining about them. Think about how hard they work everyday to give their students the best they can.

What every hope is looking for

https://scatter2020.com/youth.html

This is an online conference with many different speakers. The one I would like you to listen to is the very first video from Kim Meeder. She’s my really good friend and mentor. I love this video so much because it shows you what the ranch is all about. This is the ranch many of you have heard me talk about and in this video you can see what they do at the ranch. This video is about Hope which we all can use especially in these times.

These mountains are the ones that you can see from the ranch and the cover photo of my blog is the view of the ranch up at the cross. Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch is a ranch that rescues horses and teams them up with children. It’s my happy place to be. I had hoped this year I would go and visit but not with Covid. So I wait patiently until that time comes again.

Kim has an amazing testimony and I hope that each of you will listen to what she has to share with us. It’s very encouraging and gives us hope. Her stories remind me of my own life and where God has me at this time. The last story she shares in the video about the dog with the 6 inch arrow found in his body that been there for 4 months. The wound would not heal it continued to seep and now it was hindering how the dog walked. This reminds me of sin in my life. Unless you get it cut out by God, it will hinder you in all you do in your life. It continues to grow and fester and seep. It can not be healed unless you surrender it to God. It needs to be brought into the light. Light that is shone on a sin, lessens the power and grip it has over you.

The arrow that was in Dakota was removed no wonder this dog had so many problems all these months but it also shows me that that this dog was not giving up even after someone had tried to kill it. The dog wanted to live and now had a new life rescued from its abuse. I love that we too can be rescued from whatever hinders us in our lives. What are the arrows we have in our lives? They stop our growth….. Surrender yours today.

Taking life for granted

The last couple of days has been very interesting. I realized today that no matter what is happening that I cannot take life for granted. Life is a gift from God and that we must use it wisely. Why are we on this earth? I Believe God uses our circumstances and our pasts to help others. I don’t believe in coincidences only God instances.

Tuesday night I started to feel under the weather so I went to bed earlier. I woke up on Wednesday feeling really off and under the weather. On Thursday I was thinking it was my divitulitis back again. After talking to doctor on the phone I had a bunch of symptoms especially chills that he told me to get a covid test.

Today I went and had the test done. It’s a really easy test and it’s done in 10 secs. It’s like having water up your nose like when you go swimming. Even though I knew I didn’t have Covid, this scared me a lot. It made the virus really real to me. I read the sheets I was given about where you had been and if your positive who you’ve been around in the two days before your symptoms. It made me realize that I could be putting a whole bunch of people at risk including those in school.

I now understand a lot more about the virus in these two days. I’m thankful that my test was negative so grateful. That’s where I realized not to take life for granted. I must continue the plan God has for my life. Everyday I help others at school or I can share about my past and my difficulties I used to have, but no longer have. There are so many hurting people out there in our world. Someone who understands goes a long way. There is freedom out there. Reach out for it today. ❤️

Psalm 23 When you feel discouraged

I’m reminded today of Psalm 23 for those who fell discouraged. This is like a prayer read it aloud I love this psalm.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want, He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul, He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me, Your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, You have anointed my head with oil. My cup overflows.

Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwelling the house of the Lord forever.

The words of this psalm are so beautiful and it reminds us that no matter where you are in your life, that God leads us to quiet waters. He restores our souls and guides us in the path of righteousness. We don’t have to fear anything as God is always with us. His rod and staff they comfort me. Surely and goodness will follow me all my days and when I’m with the Lord I will be with Him forever. What great amazing promises are these for us. So no matter where you are today even if you feel discouraged reach out to Him today. This psalm is like a prayer for me. He’s got us even if we can’t see Him or feel Him.

He loves us no matter what we have done or even if we feel as though we can’t forgive ourselves. He’s watching out over us. I love so much He restores our soul. As a person who used to be caught in addiction wow this is such an amazing gift to know. Don’t let shame bring you down. Shame and guilt can cripple your soul. You are beautiful in His eyes. Even if you don’t feel like that now. It took me a long time to be able to look in the mirror and love what I saw. There is freedom from addiction. I never ever thought I would have three years from it. If your tired of running or just feeling done. Find someone to talk to. Reach out to a friend. I found a Christian counselor someone to walk this journey on. I unpacked tons of crap from my life. I wanted to be well. I was tired of masking the pain and stuffing it down deep. I was so done. You to can be free. Reach out today. God has this and so do you. ❤️ Don’t be discouraged.

It’s hard moving forward……

Today is hard day with emotions. I’m having a hard time moving forward. I guess what it brings up is when I have to move forward from things no longer in my life. Occasionally I still feel grief from the ending of my marriage. In so many ways that’s been good for me. I finally get to figure out who I am in my life. I get to make decisions that were made for me. I get to decide how and what I want in my life. My life is good right now. I have an awesome amazing job and kidlets I get to just hang out with and help them feel happy when they are sad or just need a friend. I work with an amazing woman who teaches me everyday. I love her heart it’s very much like mine. She cares and has the greatest compassion.

Even though things are really good I’m grieving the loss of an important relationship in my life. I know I’ve written about it before but it doesn’t just go away. I’m time out will fade and I won’t be as sad. Grief hits us in many different ways. I’m so much more healthier now and don’t need this person in my life. I can’t explain it but we had a good  healthy relationship. I knew that one day I would have to say goodbye. I just didn’t realize how hard it would be. It’s been a long 3 weeks in many ways but I’ve continued making healthy choices. I decided about a month ago that I wanted to learn how to play the Ukulele. I’m loving it so much. To me it’s an outlet to my grief and there’s lots to learn. My grad often hurts but it’s a good healthy hurt. Right now I’m learning you are my sunshine. My next song I’m wanting to learn is Amazing Grace. I love that song.

I’m also coloring which is something I love to do it’s super mindless which is good. I also dragged out my puzzles. I love to do them and put on my favorite music. Writing is a huge outlet for me in my grief. So many great things to do. I also joined a Bible study that starts next week. It’s from the book One thousand gifts by Ann Voskamp she’s a Canadian blogger. Her book talks about one thousand gifts and things of gratitude that are thankful for. There is so much to be thankful for. I’m looking forward to her study it’s people all over the world doing it. With so much uncertain this is a great study to see all the things we are grateful for. I will let you know how it is.

As I grieve today, I am reminded that I would not be where I am today without this person. They say when one door closes another one opens. I also can encourage others who feel like I did or just need a word of hope. As the tears come today, I need to let them flow and I need to be Thankful in my heart.

What are you Thankful for today?

The elderly……

The hardest thing about the pendemic is our elderly that are in care homes. It seems like they have been forgotten. Since the virus they have been shut in their homes and not allowed visitors. The biggest highlights of their days was visiting with their loved ones. My grandpa is one of these people. My Grandpa is an amazing man. He’s almost 104. I feel so sad about what is happening with him. It’s not just him it’s many of our loved ones. I understand the protocols and they are the most vulnerable.

Not having those weekly visits or when they happen they have to be far away from their loved ones. My grandpa has dementia and he doesn’t understand and faces and touch are so important to him. As I write this out it breaks my heart. I love my grandpa so much it’s hard enough I can’t visit but my parents have said it’s so difficult. My dad has dementia but because it’s his dad my mom was not allowed in for a long time. My grandpa only reconizes them both together and now they have to wear masks and it frightens him. He no longer can walk so he is in a wheelchair and he often yells help and gets really agitated and now lately says he just wants to die.

They now have him on zoom but unless someone is with him he just falls asleep. He also does not understand the whole video thing. He gets so overwhelmed. As I sit here this morning reflecting on all of this, I realize there are many out there who are separated from their loved ones.

One of my friends in the US wants to take their mom out of their care home so she can spend time with her family. Like my grandpa we don’t have that choice. I pray often for him. At almost 104 he already has accomplished so much in his life. This is the second pendemic he’s gone through. He also survived the Spanish influenza pandemic.

I also can’t visit my mother in law I’ve not seen her in a long time because I’m not allowed to visit her where she lives. I hope this pendemic is over soon so that we can see our loved ones again and hang out with family we can’t see now. So much isolation, so much despair. As numbers rise here I’m praying that we don’t have to go back under lock down. As always God has this all under his control. I guess we wait and see what happens.

Psalm 18: 1-6,16-19


I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge. My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised. And I am saved from my enemies.

In my distress I called upon the Lord, And I cried to my God for help. He heard my voice out of my temple, And my cry for help before Him came into His ears. He sent from on high, He took me, He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from those who hated me, for they were to mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my stay. He brought me forth also into abroad place, He rescued me because He delighted in me.


I really love this Psalm another really encouraging one when things are tough for us. God is my rock in times of trouble. He’s my rock all the time but especially when I really need Him. I feel safe in the refuge of His arms. His shield and the horn of my salvation. I love the protection we are promised. How many times have we run into trouble and we cried out to the Lord, in our distress and He hears us.
He draws us out of the waters, delivers us from our enemies.


This last verse I love so much He rescued me, because He delighted in me. I love that He’s delighted in us. He loves us so very much no matter where or what you’ve done.
I never had that father figure growing up but my Father was the Lord. He often was delighted in me, and no matter what happened to me He stood by my side. He loved me when I didn’t know how to love myself. When I felt shame and guilt He clung to me and showed me how to love myself. Today I’m still learning how to do that.
Lean on God he’s got you no matter where you are in this life. ❤️

Using the Psalms as an encouragement during these difficult times

I love the Psalms so much. One of the Pastors of our church he reads the Psalms every week with us. Whenever things are tough or I’m having a difficult time I read the Psalms and I pull out of each chapter things that I can relate to. Recently I was given a journal with a tree on it. These verses in Psalms remind me of this tree.

” He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaves so not wither, And in whatever he does he prospers.” Psalms 1:3

I love Psalm 6:2,3 ” Be gracious to me O Lord for I am pining away, heal me O Lord for my bones are dismayed. And my soul is greatly dismayed, But you oh Lord how long?

4 Oh Lord rescue my soul, save me because of your loving kindness. 6 I am weary with my sighing. Every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears, 7 my eyes has wasted away with grief. It has become old because of my adversaries.

8 For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping. 9 The Lord has heard my supplication, the Lord Recieves my prayer.

This psalms to me like a prayer for those who are sick and distressed and anxious. It seems like 2020 has been a year of uncertainty, we still don’t know if we will go back in a lock down as cases of covid arise. For many it’s been a time of isolation, depression, worry and just tough not being able to go the places we are used to going. This psalm gives me peace because I know no matter what happens God is with us. I’ve been feeling weary in my time of grief and have shed many tears. Tears are a good healthy way to release those emotions.

No matter what stage your at in your life. God hears our voices, He knows our hearts. I often tell people that when we feel that we can go on no more that He picks us up and carries us. Many, many times He’s done that for me. For the times I was not sure God was there or heard my cries. I’m reminded in the Psalms that indeed He was there and He hears us.

I love that I can pick up my bible and read God’s promises He has for me during difficult times. I’ve had more than enough of them in my life. Even though we hate trials, trials are what make us stronger in our faith. God uses people in our lives and He uses us to help encourage others. Don’t do this tough journey on your own. Reach out to someone you trust. I will pray for you if you reach out to me. 🙏

PTSD

I feel super rough this morning. I hate feeling like this. My whole body is super heightened. I had a lovely evening last night I watched some hallmark movies and hung out. I could hear fireworks out in the park. Not sure why they seemed louder then usual. I also remembered another reason I’m not fond of Halloween is the loud bangs they make me jump. As I was getting ready for bed I could hear fireworks close to my home. I realized the kids who live in the house on the next street over were doing fireworks. As I laid in bed I realized they were really close to my house and really loud bangs . I would jump everytime they came and then my window was really lit up. I got up to see why they seemed so close. The kids were shooting the fireworks over the house they rent and they were landing in the tall trees in my back yard and then continued to come until they crashed in front of my bedroom window. It already was late so I waited to see if it would stop but it continued with loud cheers.

I started to become paralyzed with fear. Hands sweating and now so jumpy. I tried to anticipate the bangs. I remember feeling like this so many times in Ireland growing up paralyzed with fear not knowing what I could do. I started to pray that my house or the trees would not catch on fire. The panic started to settle in. In the summer time I had to call the police on the same kids drinking and making tons of noise and the police had told me that when that happens just to call them. I fished out the number and called the police. I was shaking by the time I called and my voice was quivery. The last person told me it’s ok and they would send someone out to them.

I realized after I talked to the police that now as an adult I have options instead of staying in that place. I was able to reach out and get help. That feeling empowers one and stops the freaking out from coming worse. This morning I feel really rough from all those heightened feelings. Today I will be really kind to myself and it will take a few days for that heightened state to leave. I always feel so vulnerable in that state is a feeling I hate. It’s also less and less as I become healthier in my life. Zeke was great last night he was so calm and so that helped me as well. He’s my therapy dog.

I’m glad Halloween is over now for another year. Today is a nice bright sunny day which I will enjoy. I’m so glad I can reach out for help when I need it. PTSD is an awful thing to have and more and more people have it. It just leaves you so out of control in your emotions. For me I had to find a safe person to reach out to now that I don’t have Larry anymore. I will also reach out to friends today as well.