Forgotten children

I always thought I was forgotten by my dad in Ireland. I moved away from my family in 1985. They were the only family I knew growing up. If you’ve read my memoirs they are in my blog you know that growing up my brother and I was hell. For years I had questions about how and why my dad and step mom treated us the way they did. I will never know and I’m fine with that. I know who I have become despite what I experienced. Both my brother and I have overcome amazing odds. That is truly a miracle.

It used to bother me so much seeing photos of my family in Ireland and how great a person my dad is. People look up to him and love his art. He’s a very popular artist. I guess he used his pain to draw and paint beautiful things. I saw his art as an escape that he loved more than me. He drew and painted lots and ignored his family. He got trapped in generational abuse. They say that abuse will continue in your family. I love that my brother and I were able to break that and that abuse stopped. Some people believe that if your abused then you will abuse your children or those around you. Now I know that’s not true.

Those photos of my family celebrating life but it’s missing two children. I thought I was forgotten because I moved away and chose to stay away. It hurt because how can you forget your children. I always wanted people to know who my dad and step mom where and the secret that they carried. Forgiveness stopped all of that and I don’t feel that anymore. I don’t know why they did what they did to my brother to I . I don’t need to know.

Monday was birthday and my dad sent me a really cute video of a baby Robin he was feeding and wished me Happy birthday. I realized that I am not forgotten no matter how far away I live. I have been wished Merry Christmas, Happy New year. I get letters and art he’s drawn. He obviously has never forgotten who I am. I’m glad that gives me peace of mind as I get older.

I know things happen for reasons. So many things we just don’t understand but you know what we don’t have to know that. I know what I’m doing right now and how I’m living my life. I’m supposed to be here right where I am. I love that about life the mystery and not to take anything for granted.

Make your life the fullest it can be. We only get to live it once. How are you living your life?