This morning I was home sick so I sat with my pumpkin spice latte and I listened to the pastor of my church read Psalm 40. It’s a Psalm I’m very familiar with, with some verses that God gives me. I’ve been wrestling with things at work now for the last month and they don’t seem to get better in fact some days it seems worse. I hate conflict so much. This morning I read to wait patiently. Well that’s easier said then done but I do know that God has this all under His control and timing. Waiting is hard.
” I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on a rock and He gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in Him.” Psalm 40: 1-3
Today as I sat here I realized that all the good things that God has done for me. I have so many blessings that in difficult times we tend to forget what we actually have. I missed God’s love in all of this and that He’s bigger then anything that is happening around me. His love and faithfulness protect me.
When I get pushed into a territory of conflict I react to what is happening around me and instead of thinking about others I get caught in what I need. I forgot about what do the people around me need, especially the children. The fighting Sarah comes out to protect me but all it does is make me sick. It’s amazing how when I feel defeated or in conflict with those around me how my body just shuts down and I get sick.
That is how my body reacts to stress from the past. It has done this my whole life and so here we are again. I feel helpless and yes without God in my life you feel like that. I feel beaten down but I forgot that God’s love is always flowing through me and that I’m not that helpless child that I was in my past. Standing up for what is right is hard but God has this and I’m not fighting this battle alone.
I re-centring this morning and gave it all to the Lord. I let go of the bitterness I could feel Welling in my heart and asked God to take care of it. I breathed in God’s goodness and breathed out all the stress, anxiety and everything that is not from the Lord. I shed lots of tears and remembered the path that I was on before I got distracted and strayed away.
That’s a very humbling process but something I needed to do. Moving forward I need to keep my eyes on Him. I need to read the word everyday and pray and guard my heart. Now I feel that Serene peace that only comes from Him. 🦅
Beauty from Ashes. 