Yesterday I was triggered at school out of the blue feelings that I’ve not had in a very long time appeared. Yesterday was icecream day at school. You could order icecream and then enjoy it with your class. The children whose families did not purchase icecream for popsicles so every child had something. Everyone was eating their treats and I had nothing . I just chatted with the kids as they were all so happy. My teacher had ordered something and then she asked me oh did you not get anything.
All of a sudden I could feel tears emerging and it brought me back to when I was a young kid when my family got things and I didn’t get anything. Or when I was at school and the children for things and I didn’t and I was left out. I moved away from my teachers view and just chatted with the kids. Later another teacher came up and did give me a popsicle.
I went home and was thinking about what had happened and tears came again and I realized that this obviously was a hurt in my life that needed to be recognized. It’s amazing that even after all those years things like that can still bother me. I was kind to myself and reminded myself that I wasn’t in that place anymore but still validated how I was feeling.
Now I know how kids feel when they get left out for some reason. That hurt is real. ❤️
Beauty from Ashes. 