I am a women who loves to write and I write because for so long I lived in darkness and never spoke about my life and now I want to share my life and my story with others to help and encourage them on this road we call life.
My favorite place to go to in my home town is Butchart Gardens. I love how it changes each season so it’s like it’s always new everytime you go.
” With a former quarry as a canvas, Jennie Butchart envisioned transforming this space into a beautiful garden haven, overflowing with lush greens and colourful blooms. The result of her vision is The Gardens, which are still family run to this day.”
It’s so peaceful there and I love the sunken garden . Every detail is spectacular. There is a bench in the other side of the pond that is private so I love sitting and watching the people go by.
In the summer there are fireworks and music and in the winter the whole gardens are lit up with lights. They have skating and carols and it’s amazing.
I grew up in Ireland in the 70’s and up to the mid 80’s. It’s changed so much now and is a tourist town. With 7 children growing up it was tough. We were poor and we struggled. My dad was a dreamer and he often dreamt way beyond his means. He was an architect and spent many hours with his head in his drawing board. He wanted to own his own home so he brought this huge piece of land. It was an old Quarry that needed some serious TLC. I guess it was affordable land back then. It was on a quiet road called Quarry road. It was up in the countryside but it was a mile and half to hike to the bus stop.
Ireland even back then was beautiful. Rolling Hills and always so green. There are tons of old castles half broken down as you drove by with small winding roads with hand made rock walls. If you meet someone you often were backing up to find a spot to pull over for them. The countryside was so beautiful.
As kids we always knew about Leprechauns and up in the Hills are small stone houses that have been painted and they are tipped up. As kids we were always looking for the Leprechauns and the gold at the end of 🌈 rainbows.
We used to go for picnics all of us to the river and we would wade in and someone would always fall into the river. Not a soul was around. We would go to the Wicklow mountains.
My dad loved to fish so every Sunday he would take me fishing with him and he would go in competitions. I would sit and watch him fish or I got to know the people who came to fish. I even fished when I was old enough and I won second prize once. That was very cool.
We would go to a river and you had a net that when you caught your fish, they would go in the net that was in the water and at the end of the competition you would have them weighed and they were thrown back into the river. There were prizes for first, second and third. I got to fish on some great rivers. Once my dad took me into Northern Ireland for a competition. We had to cross the boarder and show our ID. I remember guys with guns and they wanted to check our car so they took out all our seats and everything and threw it in a pile and then we were expected to put it all back together again and drive off.
As we drove on the streets we passed bombed out buildings and when my dad was fishing we could hear bombs in the distance. That scared me a lot. We never went back there again. Sometimes I could hear bombs in the distance while at school or out and about. I can’t imagine being right in the middle of all of that.
I have decided to write a part 2 about living in Ireland. I will write it sometime this week. Thanks for reading so far. 😊
Who is the most famous or infamous person you have ever met?
Lady Diana came to Canada and to my city and I got to shake hands with her as she was coming through the crowd. She’s ever bit as beautiful as she was portrayed. Her heart was massive and she greeted so many people. I also got to see her when her and Charles and their crew went on a Royal Cruise up to the Sunshine coast. My dad was part of the ferries so as his family I got to meet them all.
That was really amazing for me. I still remember she wore a blue spotted dress with a hat. Simple but elegant. What an honor this was for me so get death came as a huge shock. This past summer I watched the documentary on her on Netflix. She lead a tough life but I see where her children have taken up where she’s left off. It was hard to watch. ❤️
I love my job at school so much. I work as an Early Childhood Educator. I get to do Play based learning and right now I’m helping with socialization and learning skills of how to talk to others without hitting it hurting others. Trust is everything in my job and without it, I can’t build up those children. I’ve worked with some very tough children. It feels like I would never get through to them. Trauma is real. Patience and letting them know that no matter what they do you will always be there for them.
I know because that’s what I sought that out as a child. Trusting adults was huge because adults often let me down. One of the children I worked with told me that they were a bad kid. I told them that there are no bad kids, sometimes we don’t make the right decisions but we are not bad. When they are able to do some work I always praise them and tell them how proud of them I am. It’s amazing how words can change a child. Even as an adult I love when I’m told that someone is proud of me for something I’ve done.
One of the toughest children I worked with still comes up to be everyday and gives me the biggest hug ever. That tells you an awful lot about the relationship we have. It took a lot of steps forwards and backwards. They realized that I was there no matter what.
Trust is everything in all of our lives. We can’t move forward if we don’t trust and feel safe in our environments. You definitely can’t learn in school if trust is not in your life.
I also realized that if children are stuck at a certain age that they won’t be able to do what the teacher is expecting them to do. They need that social emotional aspect in their life to move forward. That’s what I’m doing in the classroom I’m in. It’s amazing when you spend time with these children and meet them where they are at , how they start to flourish. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. 😊
When I lived in Ireland and went to school I never did well. I had great street smarts but did so poorly in school. My only saving grace was the school librarian. I discovered the love of reading, a way to escape my horrific home life. I would read about all these adventures and imagine myself in them. I’m sure that is one of the reasons I was able to survive .
I loved music as well. Music even today brings me that peace. It helped me deal with things at home that I couldn’t control. 😊
This is my beloved Labradoodle Zeke. He is 7 and a half years old. He is a very unique dog. He’s super protective of me and he’s high strung which I find crazy because I’m so laid back. I have seen Labradoodles that are easy going and so laid back or highly wound like Zeke. He’s mellow at home with me. He loves balls and the very first time I went to visit the dogs all his siblings were sleeping together and Zeke was playing with a ball. His favorite game is hiding a tennis ball under his blankets and then he has to find it. It’s halarious how one dog can entertain himself for so long.
Zeke is amazing company and I love hanging out with him. It’s nice that dogs don’t answer back. He often will come up for a scritch or just to say hello. Dogs are amazing company. They seem to know exactly what you need. Those of you who have dogs know exactly what I’m saying. He’s an amazing family member to have.
I had a dream a couple of nights ago. A dream nothing like I had ever experienced before in my life. I wondered if I had imagined it, but I was asleep so it was a dream. I dreamed I was standing and watching a very barren dry land where nothing was growing. Everything was dead and there were people laying on the ground unable to get up. At the edge of the scene there stood Jesus he was standing and looking at this barren land. As he stood there I was able to see his face. He started to lift up his arms and as he lifted them the barren land was transformed into the most beautiful rich green land with rivers, mountains, flowers, birds and lush land. The people laying in the ground got up and were healed. Jesus lifted his hands up to heaven and when he raised them up the whole land was transformed.
The dream switched to a boat in a very dark muddy water with no life in it. Jesus was standing in a boat and again he started to lift his hands and as he did the water became the bluest water you had ever seen and so many fish and the ocean was transformed into such amazing beauty.
Then the dream ended and I woke up a little while later. I believe that our world is this barren land and when we accept the Lord into our life we see all this Beauty and we are transformed. I know my life has been transformed into ways I never could imagine.
One of my friends said that this dream is similar to what is written in Ezekiel 37.
Ezekiel 37:1-14 NIV [1] The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. [2] He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. [3] He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” [4] Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! [5] This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. [6] I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’ ” [7] So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. [8] I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. [9] Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’ ” [10] So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army. [11] Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ [12] Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. [13] Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. [14] I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’ ”
I will still reflect on this dream as it’s got so much depth in it. I do know that I no longer walk in that barren land but in the land that is lush that is filled and surrounded by God’s goodness and His promises.
One of the greatest things in my life is that I stand in the gap for others. It can be children but adults as well. Being a voice for those that can’t speak out for themselves. I was that child that couldn’t defend myself from the trauma’s in my life. When I got out of that situation I made a promise to myself that I would speak out for those that had no voice.
It’s not an easy task to do in fact people who know me know that I hate conflict. I’ve had to stand alone many times defending children from abuse, because people don’t want to stand up to what is happening. People were worried about losing their jobs. So they stood and watched and never said a word. I wondered how those people slept at night.
God has given me a heart that understands and knows first hand what that pain feels like. I see the children that are picked on or sit by themselves hoping that a hole would just suck them up. I notice the children that walk with their heads down. They feel defeat often.
I have been able to make a difference in the school I work at. I have developed relationships with children that people don’t understand. Those are the same children who come up to me in the playground and give me a massive hug everyday they see me. That is worth so much more than anything else. ❤️
What’s something most people don’t know about you?
I lived in Ireland for 12 years and grew up there as a child in the 80’s. I went to a private school for children from all different nominations. People from all over the world came to bring their children there. Boys were the only boarders at the school. I met a range of people from every corner of the world.
Life in Ireland at that time was hard. Our family was poor with 7 children and we often lived in homes that weren’t built property so we often had no heat. It was very drafty with the wind that whistled between the walls. I walked a mile and a half from my home with my younger sister to school each day. We took the train or the bus. I remember the old trains that moved slowly along the tracks. One of the places we crossed it was so steep down the cliff into the ocean. There was a tunnel that the train had no lights on and so it was pitch black I’m the train so we would jump on your friends unexpectedly and run back to your seat. They had no idea who jumped them.
I went to an Irish camp where you only had to speak Gaelic at. I went because my brother was supposed to keep an eye on me. That never happened so I was bullied by all the older girls. The camp was in Galway which is an amazing scenic part of Ireland. People there still speak only Gaelic. When you would go on a store you were expected to speak Gaelic. We would just point what we wanted and dumped our money on the counter. During meal times at the camp you had to only speak Gaelic. I learned the few odd words like im for butter. I remember camp was a long time but I learned more words. We took Gaelic in school also French and Latin. 😊
This morning I was home sick so I sat with my pumpkin spice latte and I listened to the pastor of my church read Psalm 40. It’s a Psalm I’m very familiar with, with some verses that God gives me. I’ve been wrestling with things at work now for the last month and they don’t seem to get better in fact some days it seems worse. I hate conflict so much. This morning I read to wait patiently. Well that’s easier said then done but I do know that God has this all under His control and timing. Waiting is hard.
” I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on a rock and He gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in Him.” Psalm 40: 1-3
Today as I sat here I realized that all the good things that God has done for me. I have so many blessings that in difficult times we tend to forget what we actually have. I missed God’s love in all of this and that He’s bigger then anything that is happening around me. His love and faithfulness protect me.
When I get pushed into a territory of conflict I react to what is happening around me and instead of thinking about others I get caught in what I need. I forgot about what do the people around me need, especially the children. The fighting Sarah comes out to protect me but all it does is make me sick. It’s amazing how when I feel defeated or in conflict with those around me how my body just shuts down and I get sick.
That is how my body reacts to stress from the past. It has done this my whole life and so here we are again. I feel helpless and yes without God in my life you feel like that. I feel beaten down but I forgot that God’s love is always flowing through me and that I’m not that helpless child that I was in my past. Standing up for what is right is hard but God has this and I’m not fighting this battle alone.
I re-centring this morning and gave it all to the Lord. I let go of the bitterness I could feel Welling in my heart and asked God to take care of it. I breathed in God’s goodness and breathed out all the stress, anxiety and everything that is not from the Lord. I shed lots of tears and remembered the path that I was on before I got distracted and strayed away.
That’s a very humbling process but something I needed to do. Moving forward I need to keep my eyes on Him. I need to read the word everyday and pray and guard my heart. Now I feel that Serene peace that only comes from Him. 🦅
Beauty from Ashes. 