Author: walking in freedom

I love my job at school so much. I work as an Early Childhood Educator. I get to do Play based learning and right now I’m helping with socialization and learning skills of how to talk to others without hitting it hurting others. Trust is everything in my job and without it, I can’t build up those children. I’ve worked with some very tough children. It feels like I would never get through to them. Trauma is real. Patience and letting them know that no matter what they do you will always be there for them.

I know because that’s what I sought that out as a child. Trusting adults was huge because adults often let me down. One of the children I worked with told me that they were  a bad kid. I told them that there are no bad kids, sometimes we don’t make the right decisions but we are not bad. When they are able to do some work I always praise them and tell them how proud of them I am. It’s amazing how words can change a child. Even as an adult I love when I’m told that someone is proud of me for something I’ve done.

One of the toughest children I worked with still comes up to be everyday and gives me the biggest hug ever. That tells you an awful lot about the relationship we have. It took a lot of steps forwards and backwards. They realized that I was there no matter what.

Trust is everything in all of our lives. We can’t move forward if we don’t trust and feel safe in our environments. You definitely can’t learn in school if trust is not in your life.

I also realized that if children are stuck at a certain age that they won’t be able to do what the teacher is expecting them to do. They need that social emotional aspect in their life to move forward. That’s what I’m doing in the classroom I’m in. It’s amazing when you spend time with these children and meet them where they are at , how they start to flourish. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. 😊

I had a dream a couple of nights ago. A dream nothing like I had ever experienced before in my life. I wondered if I had imagined it, but I was asleep so it was a dream. I dreamed I was standing and watching a very barren dry land where nothing was growing. Everything was dead and there were people laying on the ground unable to get up. At the edge of the scene there stood Jesus he was standing and looking at this barren land. As he stood there I was able to see his face. He started to lift up his arms and as he lifted them the barren land was transformed into the most beautiful rich green land with rivers, mountains, flowers, birds and lush land. The people laying in the ground got up and were healed. Jesus lifted his hands up to heaven and when he raised them up the whole land was transformed.

The dream switched to a boat in a very dark muddy water with no life in it. Jesus was standing in a boat and again he started to lift his hands and as he did the water became the bluest water you had ever seen and so many fish and the ocean was transformed into such amazing beauty.

Then the dream ended and I woke up a little while later. I believe that our world is this barren land and when we accept the Lord into our life we see all this Beauty and we are transformed. I know my life has been transformed into ways I never could imagine.

One of my friends said that this dream is similar to what is written in Ezekiel 37.

Ezekiel 37:1-14 NIV
[1] The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. [2] He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. [3] He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” [4] Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! [5] This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. [6] I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’ ” [7] So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. [8] I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. [9] Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’ ” [10] So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army. [11] Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ [12] Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. [13] Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. [14] I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’ ”

I will still reflect on this dream as it’s got so much depth in it. I do know that I no longer walk in that barren land but in the land that is lush that is filled and surrounded by God’s goodness and His promises.

How do you want to live your life?

This morning I was home sick so I sat with my pumpkin spice latte and I listened to the pastor of my church read Psalm 40. It’s a Psalm I’m very familiar with, with some verses that God gives me. I’ve been wrestling with things at work now for the last month and they don’t seem to get better in fact some days it seems worse. I hate conflict so much. This morning I read to wait patiently. Well that’s easier said then done but I do know that God has this all under His control and timing. Waiting is hard.

” I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on a rock and He gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in Him.” Psalm 40: 1-3

Today as I sat here I realized that all the good things that God has done for me. I have so many blessings that in difficult times we tend to forget what we actually have. I missed God’s love in all of this and that He’s bigger then anything that is happening around me. His love and faithfulness protect me.

When I get pushed into a territory of conflict I react to what is happening around me and instead of thinking about others I get caught in what I need. I forgot about what do the people around me need, especially the children. The fighting Sarah comes out to protect me but all it does is make me sick. It’s amazing how when I feel defeated or in conflict with those around me how my body just shuts down and I get sick.

That is how my body reacts to stress from the past. It has done this my whole life and so here we are again. I feel helpless and yes without God in my life you feel like that. I feel beaten down but I forgot that God’s love is always flowing through me and that I’m not that helpless child that I was in my past. Standing up for what is right is hard but God has this and I’m not fighting this battle alone.

I re-centring this morning and gave it all to the Lord. I let go of the bitterness I could feel Welling in my heart and asked God to take care of it. I breathed in God’s goodness and breathed out all the stress, anxiety and everything that is not from the Lord. I shed lots of tears and remembered the path that I was on before I got distracted and strayed away.

That’s a very humbling process but something I needed to do. Moving forward I need to keep my eyes on Him. I need to read the word everyday and pray and guard my heart. Now I feel that Serene peace that only comes from Him. 🦅

This weekend it is Canadian Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for. How I think about things changed when my friends and the place where we had called home was changed with hurricane Helene. First of all I’m so eternally grateful that they were all ok when so many weren’t. It’s still heartbreaking to me that there was so much devestation. This hit me hard.

I’m now thankful for the simplest of things. So much we take for granted but this opened my eyes. I’m thankful that I have amazing friends and family. Hang on to those you love. I’m thankful for people who helped shape me into who I am today. Who stood behind me and believed in me when I felt as though I didn’t know how.

I’m thankful for having faith and that I have in my Lord. I’m so grateful that I know Him and how with Him my life how much it is changed. I’m thankful for my church community even though sometimes it’s hard to be there.

I’m thankful for having the opportunity to be able to help children and be that trusting person in their lives. I’m thankful for having a dog that keeps me company often and makes me laugh with his silliness.

I’m thankful that even though life seemed too short that I had a best friend that shared so much about her life and that we shared many of the same passions. I miss her everyday but so glad she was able to be in my life. I love that I will see her again in heaven.

Don’t ever take your life for granted because as I see everyday its precious. Be thankful for those small things and so much to be thankful for this season.

I’m so thankful for this community for each of you who take time to read what I write and for the community. Thank you 😊

What are you thankful for? Happy Thanksgiving.

Anybody who knows me, knows that I hate conflict so much and I try to avoid it at all costs. This week I had to stand up for myself. What was being asked of me was something that I’ve fought very hard not to have to do. When I was demanded that I needed to do it. I stood on what I believed in and I told them that I was not supposed to be doing that and I didn’t want to do it, or that I liked it. I’ve never done that before, usually I just do what is expected of me whether it be right or wrong.

I’ve been learning how to set boundaries so that these things don’t happen in my life. I have noticed that when I set boundaries people around me are not happy at all. In fact it makes them push harder to get what they want. I don’t like been demanded to do things, there are nice ways to say things. To me it’s disrespectful and rude to do that to anyone. I certainly don’t like being treated like that.

Things didn’t get better so I reached out for help to see whether I had to do what was asked of me. I realized I had choices on what was happening so I moved forward with what was suggested to me. I realized that I need to stand on what I believe in no matter how hard it is for me, because if I don’t things will never change. In fact they seem to get worse.

I had zero choices as a kid and I just followed along good or bad and I never wanted to rock the boat. Now as an adult I have to stand on what I believe is the right thing to do. It’s a very hard thing for me , but it also is very empowering to stand in the gap for yourself and others. All I want is to be able to do what I love each day. Life never seems simple.

One of my strengths in life is standing up for others and speaking against things that are wrong. This is why I have these strong values. God gave me a heart that  cares for others so much. It will be interesting to see how this all works out. Maybe another blog for another day.  Until then don’t compromise on things that are put on you that are not ok. You deserve respect. 😊