Beauty from Ashes.

On Sunday night my dad breathed his last breathe. The last few months have been really hard on him and he declined rapidly. He died peacefully in his sleep.

My dad was the most amazing man. I’m so honored I got to spend the time I did with him. I met him for the first time when I was 14 years old. I came to Canada to meet my mom after a long separation. He was standing beside my mom at the airport and I remember how tall he was. He worked for the ferries then and he did all the food. He was will respected for all the work he did there.

He was so kind and accepted me and my brother as his family. Never having children of his own he took both of us in and he became my dad. I loved spending time with him. He protected me and loved me.

Growing up with my step dad and my mom was everything I ever imagined. All the things he taught me including driving, helping me with all my English essays and helping me become the woman that I am today.

Barry loved anything outdoors. Hiking, boating, Rv ing, swimming in the ocean. Walking for hours on the beach. He loved picking up rocks and shells and I have a collection at my house outside. He always found those unique rocks and I treasured each of them.

He was married to my mom for 46 years and the adventures they went on. He loved traveling with his best friend. They went many places together. He loved reading and listening to his records. He loved telling stories about his dad and growing up in the restaurant. Helping out his dad and he loved his two sisters. He was very protective of them.

He loved flowers and was often out in the garden. He loved watching the birds especially the hummingbirds come to the feeder. He knew all the names of the plants. He loved diving and he used to go out and explore the breakwater with his friends.

After he was diagnosed with dementia I got to spend lots of weekends with him while my mom took time off. I loved and treasured those times. Long walks on Cordova Bay Beach, pizza at Romero’s. Coffee up at Matticks and people watching. We laughed lots and even though some of those times were difficult I made the time with him the best it could be.

About a month ago the care home called my mom and say that Barry had fallen out of bed. They said they found him on the floor kneeling and that he looked like he was praying. My dad was not a person who went to church but I know that he was indeed praying. We never know that when our life is ending what happens. I believe that’s the day he reached out to the Lord.

I love how God waited for him to come to Him. Now we knew he was ready to go home. Now he’s in heaven dancing with Jesus and he gets to do all the things he loved on this earth. Today I was driving and the clouds were all cool I’m the sky and I know he’s watching out over us.

He’s the only dad that I ever have loved. My other dad well we know how he treated my brother and I. I will miss him so much but the greatest gift in all of this, is I get to see him again. I look forward to that day so much.

I love you so much and thanks for teaching me all you taught me and for loving me how I deserved to be loved. I am the woman I am today because of you. Until we meet again. ❤️

Getting older is not for the faint of heart. I’m fact it’s hard everything seems to hurt in places that you never imagined. You slow down and sometimes to an almost stop. I have two aging family members. It’s been eye opening to see how the body reacts in different situations.

This past weekend the care home where my dad is put on an amazing Christmas lunch. They decorated up the home with a beautiful Christmas tree and decorated so beautifully. Each resident could have two guests come. Some brought their entire families. My mom invited me to go. The care home was filled with happy people sharing time with their loved ones.

My dad was sleeping when we arrived and the people who worked there tried to wake him up but he was not able to be woken up from his deep sleep. We were able to eat in his room. They set up a table white cloths and made a very special table for my mom while my dad slept. I loved watching how the caretakers interact with my dad. They truly love him. They had to wake him up so he could get his Tylenol in pudding.

My dad was awake for about 15 minutes and my mom and I took turns feeding him but realizing that solids are hard for him to swallow and twice he felt like he was choking. Food even feeling him is getting harder for him. While he was awake my mom went over to him and was taking to him but he can’t communicate with us. He then drifted back off to sleep. My mom and I ate our lunch and hung out. Its hard to watch someone you love so much be like this.

Before we left we both spent time with him and it’s very interesting he can still hear us even though he’s not awake because his body language told me that. I kissed him on his forehead and told him I loved him.

Life is short my motto is to live your life to the fullest everyday and make sure you let your loved ones know how much you love them, because they won’t be around forever.

I grew up in Ireland in the 70’s and up to the mid 80’s. It’s changed so much now and is a tourist town. With 7 children growing up it was tough. We were poor and we struggled. My dad was a dreamer and he often dreamt way beyond his means. He was an architect and spent many hours with his head in his drawing board. He wanted to own his own home so he brought this huge piece of land. It was an old Quarry that needed some serious TLC. I guess it was affordable land back then. It was on a quiet road called Quarry road. It was up in the countryside but it was a mile and half to hike to the bus stop.

Ireland even back then was beautiful. Rolling Hills and always so green. There are tons of old castles half broken down as you drove by with small winding roads with hand made rock walls. If you meet someone you often were backing up to find a spot to pull over for them. The countryside was so beautiful.

As kids we always knew about Leprechauns and up in the Hills are small stone houses that have been painted and they are tipped up. As kids we were always looking for the Leprechauns and the gold at the end of 🌈 rainbows.

We used to go for picnics all of us to the river and we would wade in and someone would always fall into the river. Not a soul was around. We would go to the Wicklow mountains.

My dad loved to fish so every Sunday he would take me fishing with him and he would go in competitions. I would sit and watch him fish or I got to know the people who came to fish. I even fished when I was old enough and I won second prize once. That was very cool.

We would go to a river and you had a net that when you caught your fish, they would go in the net that was in the water and at the end of the competition you would have them weighed and they were thrown back into the river. There were prizes for first, second and third. I got to fish on some great rivers. Once my dad took me into Northern Ireland for a competition. We had to cross the boarder and show our ID. I remember guys with guns and they wanted to check our car so they took out all our seats and everything and threw it in a pile and then we were expected to put it all back together again and drive off.

As we drove on the streets we passed bombed out buildings and when my dad was fishing we could hear bombs in the distance. That scared me a lot. We never went back there again. Sometimes I could hear bombs in the distance while at school or out and about. I can’t imagine being right in the middle of all of that.

I have decided to write a part 2 about living in Ireland. I will write it sometime this week. Thanks for reading so far. 😊

I love my job at school so much. I work as an Early Childhood Educator. I get to do Play based learning and right now I’m helping with socialization and learning skills of how to talk to others without hitting it hurting others. Trust is everything in my job and without it, I can’t build up those children. I’ve worked with some very tough children. It feels like I would never get through to them. Trauma is real. Patience and letting them know that no matter what they do you will always be there for them.

I know because that’s what I sought that out as a child. Trusting adults was huge because adults often let me down. One of the children I worked with told me that they were  a bad kid. I told them that there are no bad kids, sometimes we don’t make the right decisions but we are not bad. When they are able to do some work I always praise them and tell them how proud of them I am. It’s amazing how words can change a child. Even as an adult I love when I’m told that someone is proud of me for something I’ve done.

One of the toughest children I worked with still comes up to be everyday and gives me the biggest hug ever. That tells you an awful lot about the relationship we have. It took a lot of steps forwards and backwards. They realized that I was there no matter what.

Trust is everything in all of our lives. We can’t move forward if we don’t trust and feel safe in our environments. You definitely can’t learn in school if trust is not in your life.

I also realized that if children are stuck at a certain age that they won’t be able to do what the teacher is expecting them to do. They need that social emotional aspect in their life to move forward. That’s what I’m doing in the classroom I’m in. It’s amazing when you spend time with these children and meet them where they are at , how they start to flourish. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. 😊

I had a dream a couple of nights ago. A dream nothing like I had ever experienced before in my life. I wondered if I had imagined it, but I was asleep so it was a dream. I dreamed I was standing and watching a very barren dry land where nothing was growing. Everything was dead and there were people laying on the ground unable to get up. At the edge of the scene there stood Jesus he was standing and looking at this barren land. As he stood there I was able to see his face. He started to lift up his arms and as he lifted them the barren land was transformed into the most beautiful rich green land with rivers, mountains, flowers, birds and lush land. The people laying in the ground got up and were healed. Jesus lifted his hands up to heaven and when he raised them up the whole land was transformed.

The dream switched to a boat in a very dark muddy water with no life in it. Jesus was standing in a boat and again he started to lift his hands and as he did the water became the bluest water you had ever seen and so many fish and the ocean was transformed into such amazing beauty.

Then the dream ended and I woke up a little while later. I believe that our world is this barren land and when we accept the Lord into our life we see all this Beauty and we are transformed. I know my life has been transformed into ways I never could imagine.

One of my friends said that this dream is similar to what is written in Ezekiel 37.

Ezekiel 37:1-14 NIV
[1] The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. [2] He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. [3] He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” [4] Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! [5] This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. [6] I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’ ” [7] So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. [8] I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. [9] Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’ ” [10] So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army. [11] Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ [12] Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. [13] Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. [14] I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’ ”

I will still reflect on this dream as it’s got so much depth in it. I do know that I no longer walk in that barren land but in the land that is lush that is filled and surrounded by God’s goodness and His promises.

How do you want to live your life?