Beauty from Ashes.

I grew up in Ireland in the 70’s and up to the mid 80’s. It’s changed so much now and is a tourist town. With 7 children growing up it was tough. We were poor and we struggled. My dad was a dreamer and he often dreamt way beyond his means. He was an architect and spent many hours with his head in his drawing board. He wanted to own his own home so he brought this huge piece of land. It was an old Quarry that needed some serious TLC. I guess it was affordable land back then. It was on a quiet road called Quarry road. It was up in the countryside but it was a mile and half to hike to the bus stop.

Ireland even back then was beautiful. Rolling Hills and always so green. There are tons of old castles half broken down as you drove by with small winding roads with hand made rock walls. If you meet someone you often were backing up to find a spot to pull over for them. The countryside was so beautiful.

As kids we always knew about Leprechauns and up in the Hills are small stone houses that have been painted and they are tipped up. As kids we were always looking for the Leprechauns and the gold at the end of 🌈 rainbows.

We used to go for picnics all of us to the river and we would wade in and someone would always fall into the river. Not a soul was around. We would go to the Wicklow mountains.

My dad loved to fish so every Sunday he would take me fishing with him and he would go in competitions. I would sit and watch him fish or I got to know the people who came to fish. I even fished when I was old enough and I won second prize once. That was very cool.

We would go to a river and you had a net that when you caught your fish, they would go in the net that was in the water and at the end of the competition you would have them weighed and they were thrown back into the river. There were prizes for first, second and third. I got to fish on some great rivers. Once my dad took me into Northern Ireland for a competition. We had to cross the boarder and show our ID. I remember guys with guns and they wanted to check our car so they took out all our seats and everything and threw it in a pile and then we were expected to put it all back together again and drive off.

As we drove on the streets we passed bombed out buildings and when my dad was fishing we could hear bombs in the distance. That scared me a lot. We never went back there again. Sometimes I could hear bombs in the distance while at school or out and about. I can’t imagine being right in the middle of all of that.

I have decided to write a part 2 about living in Ireland. I will write it sometime this week. Thanks for reading so far. 😊

I love my job at school so much. I work as an Early Childhood Educator. I get to do Play based learning and right now I’m helping with socialization and learning skills of how to talk to others without hitting it hurting others. Trust is everything in my job and without it, I can’t build up those children. I’ve worked with some very tough children. It feels like I would never get through to them. Trauma is real. Patience and letting them know that no matter what they do you will always be there for them.

I know because that’s what I sought that out as a child. Trusting adults was huge because adults often let me down. One of the children I worked with told me that they were  a bad kid. I told them that there are no bad kids, sometimes we don’t make the right decisions but we are not bad. When they are able to do some work I always praise them and tell them how proud of them I am. It’s amazing how words can change a child. Even as an adult I love when I’m told that someone is proud of me for something I’ve done.

One of the toughest children I worked with still comes up to be everyday and gives me the biggest hug ever. That tells you an awful lot about the relationship we have. It took a lot of steps forwards and backwards. They realized that I was there no matter what.

Trust is everything in all of our lives. We can’t move forward if we don’t trust and feel safe in our environments. You definitely can’t learn in school if trust is not in your life.

I also realized that if children are stuck at a certain age that they won’t be able to do what the teacher is expecting them to do. They need that social emotional aspect in their life to move forward. That’s what I’m doing in the classroom I’m in. It’s amazing when you spend time with these children and meet them where they are at , how they start to flourish. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. 😊

I had a dream a couple of nights ago. A dream nothing like I had ever experienced before in my life. I wondered if I had imagined it, but I was asleep so it was a dream. I dreamed I was standing and watching a very barren dry land where nothing was growing. Everything was dead and there were people laying on the ground unable to get up. At the edge of the scene there stood Jesus he was standing and looking at this barren land. As he stood there I was able to see his face. He started to lift up his arms and as he lifted them the barren land was transformed into the most beautiful rich green land with rivers, mountains, flowers, birds and lush land. The people laying in the ground got up and were healed. Jesus lifted his hands up to heaven and when he raised them up the whole land was transformed.

The dream switched to a boat in a very dark muddy water with no life in it. Jesus was standing in a boat and again he started to lift his hands and as he did the water became the bluest water you had ever seen and so many fish and the ocean was transformed into such amazing beauty.

Then the dream ended and I woke up a little while later. I believe that our world is this barren land and when we accept the Lord into our life we see all this Beauty and we are transformed. I know my life has been transformed into ways I never could imagine.

One of my friends said that this dream is similar to what is written in Ezekiel 37.

Ezekiel 37:1-14 NIV
[1] The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. [2] He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. [3] He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” [4] Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! [5] This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. [6] I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’ ” [7] So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. [8] I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. [9] Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’ ” [10] So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army. [11] Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ [12] Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. [13] Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. [14] I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’ ”

I will still reflect on this dream as it’s got so much depth in it. I do know that I no longer walk in that barren land but in the land that is lush that is filled and surrounded by God’s goodness and His promises.

How do you want to live your life?

This morning I was home sick so I sat with my pumpkin spice latte and I listened to the pastor of my church read Psalm 40. It’s a Psalm I’m very familiar with, with some verses that God gives me. I’ve been wrestling with things at work now for the last month and they don’t seem to get better in fact some days it seems worse. I hate conflict so much. This morning I read to wait patiently. Well that’s easier said then done but I do know that God has this all under His control and timing. Waiting is hard.

” I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on a rock and He gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in Him.” Psalm 40: 1-3

Today as I sat here I realized that all the good things that God has done for me. I have so many blessings that in difficult times we tend to forget what we actually have. I missed God’s love in all of this and that He’s bigger then anything that is happening around me. His love and faithfulness protect me.

When I get pushed into a territory of conflict I react to what is happening around me and instead of thinking about others I get caught in what I need. I forgot about what do the people around me need, especially the children. The fighting Sarah comes out to protect me but all it does is make me sick. It’s amazing how when I feel defeated or in conflict with those around me how my body just shuts down and I get sick.

That is how my body reacts to stress from the past. It has done this my whole life and so here we are again. I feel helpless and yes without God in my life you feel like that. I feel beaten down but I forgot that God’s love is always flowing through me and that I’m not that helpless child that I was in my past. Standing up for what is right is hard but God has this and I’m not fighting this battle alone.

I re-centring this morning and gave it all to the Lord. I let go of the bitterness I could feel Welling in my heart and asked God to take care of it. I breathed in God’s goodness and breathed out all the stress, anxiety and everything that is not from the Lord. I shed lots of tears and remembered the path that I was on before I got distracted and strayed away.

That’s a very humbling process but something I needed to do. Moving forward I need to keep my eyes on Him. I need to read the word everyday and pray and guard my heart. Now I feel that Serene peace that only comes from Him. 🦅