Beauty from Ashes.

Today is Father’s Day and six months ago to the day my dad passed away. He passed away on a Sunday the 15th. When he passed away my work gave me this white orchid. It was delivered to my home. It bloomed for a long time. After the last flower dropped off, I just watered it and put it in the window. I noticed buds starting to grow on it. The biggest bud is opening into a beautiful white flower.

I don’t believe in happenstances that is decided to bloom right at Father’s Day and 6 months later. I love that even though it makes me tear up. I miss my dad so much. I miss so many things about him. He had AMAZING stories and he loved to laugh. His smile would brighten up your entire world. He loved adventures and went on many with my mom. He loved reading and you often could find him outside sitting in the shade reading his book.

His face would light up when I came over to visit. When he got dementia every 6 weeks I would go and spend the weekend with him while my mom went to have her own respite. I loved spending time with him. He loved music and we would put on the old records and he would remember all the lyrics. They lived near the beach and we would walk for hours along the shore. He knew every inch of that beach. He dad walked out for 40 years. 

I have a bowl on my patio full of rocks and shells he’s collected and given to me. I even have some driftwood. Sometimes we would sit on a log and look out at the water and watch the boats and the people. He especially loved the children and dogs. We would order pizza and have it delivered to the house. He always told me it was the best he’d ever had.

My dad gave the best hugs. I miss him so much. This is my first Father’s Day without him. I wish we could walk on the beach one more time and he could tell me his stories. I have so many amazing stories about him. My mom and I are doing to hang out tomorrow. It’s hard on my mom she misses her best friend so much. Life is definitely not the same for any of us with my dad here. Happy first Father’s Day in heaven. Know what you are missed and loved so very much. ❤️

We all know how much nutrition is so important for our children. With raising prices and the cost of the living, it sometimes can be really hard to find nutrition for our families.

I work at a community school and I love that we get funds from companies to help feed our children. Every morning we have a breakfast program that helps feed our students in our school. Children that don’t eat breakfast we see lack of concentration and focus. We can see behavioral issues. I will never forget how it feels to feel your stomach growl because your hungry. There is definitely no focusing on anything. It consumes everything you have.

We have a lunch program and families get to contribute what they can. Without proper nutrition It can also affect cognitive development, memory, and overall well-being, making it harder for children to succeed in school and ultimately in life. 

This information is what I found online about children and lack of nutrition.

• Decreased Concentration and Focus:Hunger makes it harder to concentrate and follow instructions, leading to difficulty in learning and retaining information. 
• Learning Difficulties:Lack of essential nutrients can impair cognitive development, affecting memory, problem-solving skills, and overall academic achievement. 
• Lower Test Scores and Academic Performance:Children who are not well-nourished may experience lower scores in vocabulary, reading, and other academic areas. 
• Difficulty Catching Up:Nutritional deficiencies can make it harder for children to keep pace with their peers in academic progress. 

Social-Emotional and Behavioral Impacts:

• Increased Behavioral Issues:Hunger and poor nutrition can contribute to behavioral problems such as aggression, attention deficits, and difficulty with self-regulation. 
• Difficulty Forming Friendships:Children who are hungry may struggle to form healthy social connections and engage in positive social interactions. 
• Higher Rates of Absences:Students experiencing food insecurity may be more likely to miss school due to illness or other factors related to poor nutrition. 

Long-Term Consequences:

• Developmental Delays:Poor nutrition during childhood can lead to long-term developmental delays in cognitive and physical development, impacting future opportunities. 
• Health Problems:Malnutrition can weaken the immune system, increasing the risk of illness and making it harder for children to recover from infections. 
• Lower Work Capacity and Productivity:Nutritional deficiencies can lead to reduced physical and cognitive abilities, potentially impacting future work capacity and productivity. 

I’ve seen the effects of not having enough nutrition as a child. It effects everything in your life. That’s why I have a poor immune system and get sick lots. That’s why school aged children it’s so important for them. Not only do you need it for your brain but also your teeth, bones and your digestive system.

This morning I was really touched by an email sent out to ask our families that there is help. Let’s give children success in their lives so that they can grow and thrive into the best people. ❤️

I found my healing through writing. If you asked me years and years ago, if I would love blogging. I would have laughed at you. I think of where I’ve come from to where I am today. So in high school I was horrible at writing and not good at putting words, ideas and sentences together. In fact I hated writing because of how much I struggled with it. I failed so many tests and my dad helped me write all my English essays in school. He was my life saver. Words would get mixed up in my head often.

I did find out that I was dyslexic and not stupid like I thought I was. I worked really hard getting extra English after school for 3 years and pulled up to college level. Throughout college I still struggled with it. I had always wrote in journals about my life and dreamed of writing a book someday.

One of my counselors I had suggested that I write a blog it would be to a bunch of strangers. That was really intimidating to me so I wrote it like a journal. I started writing and I found it very therapeutic. Every year would go by and I still had not written that book I wanted to write but had no idea where to begin with that. One of my pastors suggested to write my memoirs in my blog. By then I had been writing for a couple of years. I realized that I didn’t need to write a book. So I wrote in this blog and realized that people needed to hear that no matter where you’ve been in your life, that there is always Hope. If one person was impacted by what I had written then I was happy.

I only write when I feel prompted to do so. I’m so glad that I never gave up on my dreams and discovered that I loved it write.

Thanks so much for reading my blog. I really appreciate it and have found that the blogging community is a great way to connect with others who love to write as well. ❤️

I’ve never believed in coincidences. I believe that God puts people into your lives and they are there for a reason and sometimes a season. It’s like when I get put into different classes at school it’s always where I’m supposed to be. Every year I’ve worked at school there has been a child who really needs me.

Often I meet people that I get in with so well and then come to find out they have experienced something similar to me or they can relate in some way. I’ve met people all over the world and I’m still friends with some of them. I’m still friends with my childhood friend in Ireland. I love that woman so much and we still get on like we saw each other last week. We laugh so much and she just gets who I am. I love that.

Two years ago I lost one of my best friends to cancer. These roses are off one of the rose bushes she had ordered before she died. This year the roses are so vibrant and smell amazing and havehuge flowers on them. Everytime I see them they remind me of her. I miss her very much. I know she will have the biggest rose garden in heaven.

People come and go in our lives all the time. That’s why they are there for a season. I’m blessed to have many friends that I’ve had for a long time in my life. Friendship is very important to me. Even though I lost a friend recently I’ve come to a peace about it. I’m grateful for all who are in my life. Life is short, live it to the fullest.

This morning I heard a sermon on forgiveness. That is a hard thing to do. It used to trip me up often because how do you forgive people that hurt you so much. It took me a while to realize that when you forgive people, your not forgiving them for all the hurt you’ve been through. You are releasing yourself so that they can’t hurt you anymore.

I used to hate the people who hurt me and when I saw my heart it was black that’s what I would tell people. I wanted them to suffer like I had suffered. That hate gave power to addiction. It also gave power to me to hate myself. Both very destructive.

A dear friend of mine reminded me that God was with me when I had called out to him as a child. I always thought God didn’t care about me as things never changed in my life. Sometimes they seemed worse. We went for a walk one day in the wilderness and prayed. As we prayed I saw Jesus in the room where I was He was right beside me as a child. I had believed that Jesus had abandoned me.  I also prayed that God would forgive me for holding that hate in my heart. All of it came weeping out.

It was December in the high desert in Oregon and the sun beamed on our faces as we knelt on the dusty trail. Usually it would have been snowing at that time is the year. I love the scenery in the high desert we were surrounded by Sage bushes and trees that twisted around each other. The altitude is higher then I’m used to. So before we stopped and prayed I had this headache. I live down at sea level so my body was not used to it. My friend’s two dogs were with us. One an older dog the other a young puppy.

Still weeping on my knees I forgave all the people who had hurt me and there was many. I felt like I would never stop crying. I thanked the Lord for keeping me safe in all the times I was put in danger but most all for never leaving me no matter what. Just because I couldn’t see Him didn’t mean he protected me. I had forgotten my friend was with me. Time stood still and when I opened my eyes wow I felt transformed. I stood up straight and felt so light on my feet. I felt love in my heart and it was no longer black, in fact the blood run freely in my heart. I had no headache and I started to feel that love in my heart for myself the love that JESUS felt for me.

Even though forgiveness was the hardest thing I had to do, it was the best thing I’ve ever done. This year I’m coming up to 9 years of sobriety. So when the pastor was talking about forgiveness today, I was beaming  because things are very different today because I trusted the Lord. ✝️