I found my healing through writing. If you asked me years and years ago, if I would love blogging. I would have laughed at you. I think of where I’ve come from to where I am today. So in high school I was horrible at writing and not good at putting words, ideas and sentences together. In fact I hated writing because of how much I struggled with it. I failed so many tests and my dad helped me write all my English essays in school. He was my life saver. Words would get mixed up in my head often.

I did find out that I was dyslexic and not stupid like I thought I was. I worked really hard getting extra English after school for 3 years and pulled up to college level. Throughout college I still struggled with it. I had always wrote in journals about my life and dreamed of writing a book someday.

One of my counselors I had suggested that I write a blog it would be to a bunch of strangers. That was really intimidating to me so I wrote it like a journal. I started writing and I found it very therapeutic. Every year would go by and I still had not written that book I wanted to write but had no idea where to begin with that. One of my pastors suggested to write my memoirs in my blog. By then I had been writing for a couple of years. I realized that I didn’t need to write a book. So I wrote in this blog and realized that people needed to hear that no matter where you’ve been in your life, that there is always Hope. If one person was impacted by what I had written then I was happy.

I only write when I feel prompted to do so. I’m so glad that I never gave up on my dreams and discovered that I loved it write.

Thanks so much for reading my blog. I really appreciate it and have found that the blogging community is a great way to connect with others who love to write as well. ❤️

I’ve never believed in coincidences. I believe that God puts people into your lives and they are there for a reason and sometimes a season. It’s like when I get put into different classes at school it’s always where I’m supposed to be. Every year I’ve worked at school there has been a child who really needs me.

Often I meet people that I get in with so well and then come to find out they have experienced something similar to me or they can relate in some way. I’ve met people all over the world and I’m still friends with some of them. I’m still friends with my childhood friend in Ireland. I love that woman so much and we still get on like we saw each other last week. We laugh so much and she just gets who I am. I love that.

Two years ago I lost one of my best friends to cancer. These roses are off one of the rose bushes she had ordered before she died. This year the roses are so vibrant and smell amazing and havehuge flowers on them. Everytime I see them they remind me of her. I miss her very much. I know she will have the biggest rose garden in heaven.

People come and go in our lives all the time. That’s why they are there for a season. I’m blessed to have many friends that I’ve had for a long time in my life. Friendship is very important to me. Even though I lost a friend recently I’ve come to a peace about it. I’m grateful for all who are in my life. Life is short, live it to the fullest.

This morning I heard a sermon on forgiveness. That is a hard thing to do. It used to trip me up often because how do you forgive people that hurt you so much. It took me a while to realize that when you forgive people, your not forgiving them for all the hurt you’ve been through. You are releasing yourself so that they can’t hurt you anymore.

I used to hate the people who hurt me and when I saw my heart it was black that’s what I would tell people. I wanted them to suffer like I had suffered. That hate gave power to addiction. It also gave power to me to hate myself. Both very destructive.

A dear friend of mine reminded me that God was with me when I had called out to him as a child. I always thought God didn’t care about me as things never changed in my life. Sometimes they seemed worse. We went for a walk one day in the wilderness and prayed. As we prayed I saw Jesus in the room where I was He was right beside me as a child. I had believed that Jesus had abandoned me.  I also prayed that God would forgive me for holding that hate in my heart. All of it came weeping out.

It was December in the high desert in Oregon and the sun beamed on our faces as we knelt on the dusty trail. Usually it would have been snowing at that time is the year. I love the scenery in the high desert we were surrounded by Sage bushes and trees that twisted around each other. The altitude is higher then I’m used to. So before we stopped and prayed I had this headache. I live down at sea level so my body was not used to it. My friend’s two dogs were with us. One an older dog the other a young puppy.

Still weeping on my knees I forgave all the people who had hurt me and there was many. I felt like I would never stop crying. I thanked the Lord for keeping me safe in all the times I was put in danger but most all for never leaving me no matter what. Just because I couldn’t see Him didn’t mean he protected me. I had forgotten my friend was with me. Time stood still and when I opened my eyes wow I felt transformed. I stood up straight and felt so light on my feet. I felt love in my heart and it was no longer black, in fact the blood run freely in my heart. I had no headache and I started to feel that love in my heart for myself the love that JESUS felt for me.

Even though forgiveness was the hardest thing I had to do, it was the best thing I’ve ever done. This year I’m coming up to 9 years of sobriety. So when the pastor was talking about forgiveness today, I was beaming  because things are very different today because I trusted the Lord. ✝️

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I would participate in a 30 day push up and plank challenge. If you had asked me at the beginning of the year, I would have looked at you like really!!!! The company I work for had a push up and plank challenge that I decided I wanted to be part of. A lot of my team mates were participating and you could do a modified version. It was at your own pace and you could video it as well and post it on the company website. Ok this is all out of my element. I was told that you can improve by 1% a day. Ok I can do that. I also had a pulled muscle from coughing a while back that seemed to never go away.

The first day you had to do your push ups and planks with no tech on so no patches. I managed to do 5 pushups on the wall and could do a 30 sec plank. The next way we could wear our Victory and Boost patch and then had to wear them for the remainder of the challenge. The Victory patch helps with  enhanced athletic performance.  It helps with more balance, more, stability, more mobility , enhanced stamina and more agility. So many athletes are using it to enhance their performance.

This is the other patch I used it’s called the boost patch. It gives you steady energy all day long. I’ve never used energy drinks at all but this amazing patch keeps you going all day long. All the patches in this company are 100% drug free and work through touch on your skin with the ridges in each patch. It’s 30 years ahead of it’s time. I wrote another blog about them that you can check out.

My second day I did 10 pushups and a one minute plank. I doubled what I did from the first day with no tech. 💪 Each day I did 1% more and by the end of the challenge I was able to do 33 push ups and a 2:50 minute plank. What I loved about it was I watched all the people who participated and put up videos. It was really inspiring. Families did it with their children, people for creative and did it in different ways but everyone who did it was able to participate.

I’m so proud of myself for not giving up even when it was hard and there were days I didn’t want to do it. I realized that there’s nothing I can’t do. I feel so much better about myself and it boosted my confidence. In fact my physio has me continue doing them. I smile everytime I think of what I did. So now I’m doing 1% better each day in my life. That way your going to be successful.