Beauty from Ashes.

One of my friends she’s been in my life for a long time until recently. I thought I could just accept that we are not friends anymore. I have tried and tried to tell myself that we won’t get back to how our friendship used to be. I can’t seem to move on. I miss our chats, texts our coffee dates. I miss just catching up and seeing her. It doesn’t seem to get easier in fact some days is really hard. I miss laughing with her and her company.

I drive by her place or I see something that reminds me of her. We have a past and now looks like no future. I’ve appolozied for letting her down and her not being able to trust me. When she told me that my heart broke because never in my wildest dreams would I ever imagine hurting her. It has put a wedge in our friendship and I don’t know how to make it right.

A long time ago one of my friends who I had known for a long time left my life. I was devestated. She was gone from my life for 10 years. We would see each other in passing and it was awkward and she was hurt. Another friend told me Sarah this person needs time. Time heals all things. I remember thinking oh sure that will never ever happen.

My best friend Wendy years before she passed away we got together with this friend I had fallen out with and another gal and we hung out and slowly that trust started to happen and over time the 4 of us hung out all the time. Now my friendship with this woman is stronger then it’s ever been. In fact I gained a new friend whom I adore her and her family. God gave me back one and I gained another.

So I pray that this person heals from the hurt I have caused and that in time she too will come back into my life. R, I miss you very much. I’m reminded of things we have done together and conversations we have had. I’m reminded about the fun trips we took together and how you have the most amazing gift of seeing how things come together in people.

I’m reminded everyday how life is short and we need to hold onto the things that are important to us everyday. I found a book today while I was cleaning a book of gratitude. It’s one I wrote years ago and inside the first thing I wrote in this book was R how grateful I am of her. ❤️

A wrote a post on my Facebook about Mother’s. Mother’s come in all shapes and sizes. I don’t have children of my own. I have 3 step children that are amazing adults now. The oldest recently had his first child. A guess that makes me a grandma. Even though those children were not mine by blood I loved them so much. They moved away with their mom when they were still young but I stayed connected with them and two of them are in my life now.

I do respite care for a boy that one known since he was 2 and a half and I tell people that he’s the child I never had. I love him so much and he’s still in my life. He’s an amazing boy that I’ve written about before in my blogs. I got to spend the evening before Mother’s Day with him. Every time I’m around him he brings such joy to my heart. He feels the exact same way about me. I’ve been there and seen so many of his milestones.

There are many children at my school that I mentor and they still come and hug me out in the playground. I love my job at school it’s so rewarding and yes it can be tough as well but God has given me a gift to reach those that are hard to reach or just need someone to let them know how great they are or how proud of them you are. Those words are powerful.

I’ve been so blessed to have so many children around me my entire life. I wouldn’t change that for anything. It’s been the greatest gift.

I feel I’m in a season of grief right now. On Monday a gal I have known for a couple of years passed away from cancer. 9 months ago she was diagnosed with lymphoma and had pre cancer in her breast, her rib and her stomach. She and I used to message each other often and she would always update me on what was happening. I met my friend through my business she was on our team. What I loved about T was she always was so positive and I remember her telling me that she was going to beat this.

She started her chemo and even got to ring the bell for her final chemo. A week after her chemo she experienced really bad headaches and was taken to the hospital. After further testing they discovered that the cancer has spread and now was in her brain. The tumors grew quickly and the pain was so unbearable. Two weeks ago she was admitted into the hospital and last week woke up and demanded they take out her tube and she wanted another opinion.

They took out the tube and she went unconscious and never woke up again. She died peacefully Monday morning. T was an amazing woman that always was smiling and loved her family so much. She always was encouraging others and had the best attitude about everything even when things were hard for her. I always looked forward to seeing her in our zoom meetings and how much I learned from her.

This reminded me of when my best friend died. It brought up similar feelings. One of the nights I found out she was so sick I prayed a lot and into the night because I couldn’t sleep. I asked God why He takes those we love. Even though I know His ways are the best and He knows what we need. T was so young and had a young family.

I never understood why my best friend died two years. I’ve never been the same. I know I will see her again that is what helps and that now both her and T are now healed. I guess when it’s your time to go it’s your time.

Cancer is so different and it changes your entire family. I know people whose children are going through this now and doing well. For that I’m so thankful for. It’s just something I never have understood. I may need understand that but I’m so glad that now they are healed in heaven.

I’m still grieving my dad so as I said I’m obviously in a season of grief. Some days are harder than others. I’ve been trying to live each day to the fullest and not take anything for granted because life can be short.

I started with the Super Patch company it will be two years in July. These patches have changed my life so that I now continue working in a job I love.

This video is very moving and is one of my teammates. Watch how this tech helped a lady with her mobility instantly.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1Bakdm3rUp/

Reach out if you have any questions.

I want to thank all my readers and all the people who have some of the most amazing photos. Thank you for allowing me to share them with others on my blog.

When I started the journey of blogging it was basically a woman getting thoughts out. I have seen amazing healing through my blog and the biggest part was being able to share my memoirs. I decided to do it on my blog because I have siblings that are still alive and I wanted to make sure what I wrote never hurt them. To be able to share things I’ve only ever written on paper, has been amazing.

Sharing our stories is what helps others even if it’s just one person who reads what we write and is impacted by it. I would not be where I am today without JESUS. He is the one who helped me survive and He is the one who brought so much healing through my writings. I then discovered that I love to write and it’s something that brings me much peace no matter what is going on. I always tell people that my blog is Jesus’s and my story.

Thank you to those who encouraged me to write even when I was nervous about it. It’s become one is my greatest accomplishments.

I am the woman I am today because of finding my voice. Don’t ever be shy about who you are. I am the woman I am today because of my past. My strength comes from JESUS and He’s the one who prompts me to write.

Thank you so much for reading and liking my posts. ❤️