Ugh not felt these feelings in a long time. I had forgotten what it felt like. When it came my first reaction was to run away and not deal with it, but that only hurts myself. I can’t believe how much pain I felt in my heart like losing your best friend even though we are not friends. I understand in my head why it can’t be, but my heart is filled with huge emotions that I can’t shut off. I think there must be underlining things going on to have this HUGE reaction of emotion.
Rejection used to be an emotion that crippled me and made me act out in addiction. Today it hurts yes but that all. This reaction makes me realize how much it hurt when my husband left. The old Sarah would have blamed herself but today this is not on me. He chose to leave on his own I did Everything I could to work on our Marriage. He’s been gone a year it’s been hard I won’t fluff that up but I also have learned a lot of things about myself and where yes I failed in my Marriage most of it through my own brokenness.
With the guidence of the Lord I can work through these things and come out better on the other side. There will be more times of me feeing rejection from others because we can’t put all our stock in humans. I will let people down things like this will happen it will trigger rejection but it no longer consumes my life and I can now deal with it in Healthy ways. Today I will be extra kind to myself as I feel fragile but that will pass. God is my comforter and my rock. He helps soothe my pain and as we grow in things that maybe really uncomfortable we know we are never alone no matter what is happening.