One of my friends a couple of weeks ago suggested I join her in this painting. I thought because there had been many things in my life that this would be something to cheer me up and it was sunflowers. In the back of my mind the old saying came up that I was not going to be able to do this but I would try. My art teacher she’s a Christian and before her showing us how to paint she did amazing devotionals. Even though I could not paint when she did I listened to her devotions every morning before work. She suggested we watch and paint later. The first day I painted I thought I would pass out from the stress. God had shared with me before I started that I had a strong hold with painting.
God reminded me that I had vowed as a child that I would never do art or have anything to do with it. I avoided painting at all costs. My dad is an artist and every time things got rough out hard for him he escaped into his office to paint. The most painful thing for me with this was that my tiny room was off his office and he competely ignored me. I would cry out to him to help me and he just ignored me. His paintings were more important than his own daughter. I grew to hate him and his paintings. I remember making that vow.
As I started this painting I could bearly breathe. I felt stressed so much and pushed through it. The second day the devotional was on trust. I cried throughout most of the devotion. I asked God to remove that vow I made and help me to forgive my dad for using his art as an escape and ignoring me when I cried out to him over and over again. I asked God to wash all this pain away from me and renew my heart. I love what Christine said about trusting and about just painting.
This is my painting. When I released all this pain this is what I was able to create and God showed me that I could do this. I’m so proud of myself for letting go and letting God heal another part of my life through forgiveness. I found painting so relaxing and fun. Who knew. I signed up to paint once a month with Christine my favorite part was we were not allowed to say anything negative about what we painted and we had to share our progress with the group. I had never painted like this let alone put it on a canvas. I’m looking forward to painting more and learning how to be free and trust the process. I’m so glad I signed up and broke free of my bondage. Thank you Lord!!!