The silence is so hard

One of my friends told me that grieve is like ebbs and flows. It sometimes hits you when you least expect it. The last couple of days in struggling with sadness. This is the longest I’ve gone with not chatting with Wendy. I find this silence almost unbearable. The day she passed away which was two weeks tomorrow they had a massive party for her in heaven. She no longer suffers and she gets to reunite with all those who were taken too soon. While she was sick her dad had passed away so she would be reunited with him.

Apparently the first year is the hardest because you don’t have your friend with you for coffee’s, lunches, get togethers, traditions. All the things we did together and it was lots. On Friday it is her celebration of life. Her daughters and her family are organizing it. Then it’s so final. It’s going to be hard but one good thing about is all the other people who I’m close to will be there. I hate so much she had to die. I miss my friend everyday. This had been the longest two weeks. I want to hear her voice, hear her laugh, just chat like we did often. They say grief is good but it hurts a lot.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what legacy you leave when you die. Wendy left an amazing one. As I said in my last blog I will take everything she taught me and apply it into my life. I sure do miss her so much. I’m so thankful that I got to meet her and her family. I’m blessed she was a big part of my life.

A friend of mine shared this with me recently.

It’s a concept by Henri Nouwen – one of my their favourite quotes.

Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.
Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.

I love this beautiful yes Wendy was worth loving all those years. She was the best of the best. Until we meet again my friend.