The best dad I could ever have imagined ❤️

Those who have read my memoirs know that the dad who gave birth to me never knew what it was like to love and protect his daughter. Just because he’s a blood relative doesn’t mean he’s a good dad. Yes I’ve forgiven him not for how he treated me for 12 years but because I needed to be free from him. To me he’s just a guy I once knew.

When I met my mom for the very first time she was married to a man whom I loved immediately. He’s been my dad since I moved here as a teenager, and I love him very much. He’s the dad I always dreamed about and I’m so blessed to have him in my life. He showed me what love was all about. He wrote a lot of papers for me in high school and he was always there for me no matter what.

My dad has vascular dementia and each time I visit him he deteriorates more and more. I hate watching the man I love disappear. I see glimers of him in there. He still reconizes and knows who I am and I love spending time with him. Last week I hung out with him when my mom needed to go out and we went for a walk and he told me that he wanted to show me his special place. It’s in behind the townhouses where they live and there is a pond with a water thing in the middle of it. He showed me every inch of it. I’ve been there before but not with him. I treasured every moment I spend with him.

A lot of the time he talks about things that make no sense but I always listen to him. Today I went over because my mom said she was sad because my dad’s two sisters came to visit him. He didn’t recognize them he’s not seen them in about 15 months. I watch him on Tuesday with them and he smiled and enjoyed their company. It’s like his heart knew who they were. In fleeting moments he would comment things about them that were so lovely.

Today we sat outside and he talked the whole time about the trees that are planted outside how they were different sizes and how they grew. He loves trees and humming birds that come to the feeder. He talks about the trees a lot.

Thursday we found a placement for him to go to. My mom can’t look after him he needs more than what we can give him. It’s the same place that my grandpa lived at for 5 years. The workers faces lit up when they heard my mom’s last name. They talked about how much they missed my grandpa. They still have a photo of him and another resident in the nurses station. Wow how cool is that.

Sept 19th my dad will go to a facility until a placement comes up where we want him to go to. I know this is what is best for him but it’s so hard to wrap my head around this. I’m grieving the loss of my dad even though he’s still here. I can’t imagine going to my parents home and not seeing him there. He’s part of that home. Yes I can go visit him but it’s not the same. I feel like everyday I lose a piece more of him.

No matter what happens he’s still my dad and I still love him with all of my heart ♥️. I’ve been so blessed to have him in my life. He never had children of his own but he took in my brother and I and we became a family. I’m planning on spending as much time with him now before he goes into care. It’s the toughest on my mom. This is her soul mate and having to put him in care is heartbreaking for her. Please pray for our family including my dad. He’s not going to understand why he’s there. He’s only ever been away from my mom for a week.

It’s hard enough having aging parents without watching them struggle with dementia or other life threatening things. Make sure you hug your family tonight because life is short and you never know can happen.

I’m still the luckiest woman in the world I would not trade the years I’ve had with my dad. This transition will be an adjustment for all of us but I plan to be there every step of this one. Thank you B you are an amazing man and you are loved by many especially me. ❤️