Grief it just appears

My mom is having hip surgery today. I’m been thinking about it and today when I woke up my tummy was off and tears flooded my eyes. The loss of my dad came flooding back and it was hard to stop. Even though hip surgery is a routine surgery it makes you want to hold those you love even closer to you.

I miss my dad everyday. I miss his hugs his smile, his advice he gave the best advice. I miss his stories he always had lots. He loved Spring and flowers, humming birds coming to the feeder. He loved to garden and I miss our chats and laughs. Tomorrow is supposed to be really warm so I’m going to go and hang out at his favorite beach. I miss our walks in there. So many things I miss about him.

My mom’s surgery is a couple of hours hopefully this morning and then a couple of months of recovery. After her recovery we will have a joint birthday and celebration of life for my dad. I’m so grateful that my brother is here to help my mom as well. I guess when things are out of your control it brings up many emotions. I was surprised about that but I’m still in a season is grief when though it’s less and less.

Today is a day for me to look after myself and not worry about things in can’t control.  My mom will be just fine. God’s got her in the palm of His hands. I know my dad is walking the beaches in heaven and the best part of that is I get to see him again and I’ve got the biggest hug for him. For now I have all the memories and I can remember them when I’m the midst of tears.