Author: walking in freedom

7 years ago I started this journey of blogging. It started out with me wanting to share about simple things in my life. I had no idea that in 7 years that I would have so many followers and that people wanted to read what I write. My whole life I wrote things in my journal. I had books and books of things I’d written over the years.

It was a wise woman that I know who was my first subscriber and today I shared with her how many people have viewed my blog and she told me that she believed in me. In fact she’s believed in me when even my own family didn’t and I didn’t believe in myself. My family told me that I shouldn’t be writing such things and that I should only write in my journal.

In this simple writing I wrote about my life caught in addiction and how it seemed like I would never be free. I wrote about the root to my addiction was unforgivess in my heart and how God transformed me. All those chains were broken.

This past year I completed my memoirs on my blog. For years and years I imagined writing them for people to read. I decided to do it in my blog. That was the most freeing piece of writing I’ve ever done. It was hard to write but it came with much healing. Thank you to those who read it. I know it was not easy to read but what God has done in my life is amazing.

I was able to write about the journey of my dad in dementia and how each moment with him was something I would never change. I have learned a lot in my writings and I hope that this year I can continue to share what is laid on my heart to write. Again I’m so grateful for this platform to write. I never imagined people would read what I wrote. It’s very humbling.

So if you want to do something in your life but your scared to do it. Take a risk and do it. If I never took this risk I would never have had so much healing in my writings. 😊

Reflecting back on 2024 it was a good year. It was a year of building relationships.  Even though my dad passed away I love that he’s in heaven. I spent more time with my family as they needed me. That is time that I can’t get back so for that I’m grateful. It was hard to watch my dad decline everytime I went to visit him but I got to spend time with him. My mom struggled with her own health issues as well. My relationship with my brother is better for that I’m grateful for.

I got to hang out with some of my favorite people and laugh. I went on some adventures with friends and got to do my annual Parkville Coombs trip. That was the trip that we always did with our friend Wendy. She’s missed everytime we go but I feel her with us.

I went away with two of my friends from school and that was the first time we went away and it was good and successful. I love those two and they have become great friends. We rented a townhouse right near the ocean and we got to explore Parkville.

I have a small business and I got to share and help others with drug free products. I will write more about it in another blog. I’ve watched people’s lives change because of the products. I learned a lot of amazing things and have the best team. With a world full of pushing drugs and medications, I love that we have drug free products that work. I look forward to learning more and helping others around me. It’s become my new passion.

I got to spend lots of time with the boy that I do respite care with. He’s growing up. This year he will graduate from elementary school. He’s a boy that lights up my heart every time I’m with him. I’ve known him since he was two and a half. We laugh so much. He’s the best medicine for my broken heart this week. I love him and his family. ❤️

I’m still doing what I love at school. I see so many rewards in the time I spend with the children. Ones that you never think will ever trust you, to getting constant hugs whenever they see you. I make a difference everyday in the lives of those children. I’m blessed.

I’m looking forward to new adventures, new people to meet, trips to take and I’m wanting to spend more time with Gratitude with God. I want to spend less time on my phone and more time getting to know Him. Those are my words for 2025. There’s so much to be thankful for. ❤️

Thank you to all those who read my blogs and for this community. I’m blessed to be part of it. I want to write more this year.

Do you have a word or words you use for 2025 or do you make New years resolutions? Whatever you do this year do it with all of your heart and be thankful for what you have as life is short.

As I sit today and reflect as this year is coming to a close. What is the greatest gift? For me and for so many others it’s accepting Jesus into your heart. For me it was a month and and half ago when my dad accepted Jesus into his heart. I had prayed for him and my family that’s all I ever want for them to know who Jesus is. When it seems like it would never happen as your loved one continues to decline. You pray harder and get all your friends to pray for him as well.

I never gave up hope even though it seemed like it would never happen. One of the hardest things is watching your loved one decline so much you bearly recognize them. They don’t know who you are anymore. That’s hard to watch. You know in your heart this day would come, but you push it aside. That grief process starts before they actually go.

I wondered a lot how my dad would accept Jesus before he died. Would I see him again? We never know even when you don’t recognize your loved ones or where you are anymore, where your heart is. I know now that Jesus didn’t take my dad home until He was ready. For me that was the greatest day for my dad to be found on the floor of his bedroom in the care home, and the caregivers telling my mom that he was praying on his knees. Wow that an amazing picture. I know that’s when Jesus came into his heart. What a glorious day. ❤️

The last day I saw my dad my mom and I went to a Christmas dinner. My dad was asleep the entire time except for about 15 minutes. While we ate I prayed silently for him and when I went to say goodbye, I told him I loved him and that I would see him again. I had no idea that would be the last time I saw him. Next time I see him it will be in heaven. That is the greatest gift I could ever imagine.

Even though I’m grieving him and the loss in my life and it’s a big loss. I’m so happy that he got to meet Jesus and sit with him and they had the biggest party for him in heaven. I often look into the sky knowing he’s looking out over our family. I feel him in my heart everyday.

I can’t imagine not knowing Jesus my whole life and waiting until it’s almost time to go. The best part of my life is having a relationship with Him. Spreading His good news and living the life that Jesus wants for me. I have Hope through my tears. I have gratitude for all that He’s done for me for all the years of my life. I have comfort, joy, love, unbelievable peace, humbleness, strength and so many more things. I have passion that Jesus has put into my heart for things that He wants me to fight for. Yes I can’t imagine my life without Jesus. To me that is the greatest gift….

This morning I sat in the middle of the cemetery where all the people have been creamated. Up above my dad was being cremated. I did not want to watch that so I left and walked down the stairs and sat on a bench. In front of me were names of people I don’t know. I sat and wondered who those people were and how they lived their lives. I watched the birds hopping from branch to branch and singing their songs. To my left was the road that led up to the cemetery where my father and law and Larry’s brother in law are. In front of me were massive trees and a pond.

The last time I was there I had walked that area with my dad,when his dad was getting cremated. The pond reminded me of the pond that was close to the townhouse where my mom and dad used to live. The silence was almost defeating. My heart was at peace. I prayed for my mom, my brother and my sister in law. I was reminded that my dad was in heaven and that was just his earthly body.

My dad was an amazing man. He was kind and he had the greatest stories. He loved life and he lived it to the fullest with my mom. He loved adventures, traveling to different countries. He loved the ocean so much that he owned 3 boats and often could be found swimming in the coves. He loved to swim. He loved to laugh and had such a great sense of humor. I could listen to hours about his stories of places he worked and going to school in Denver, Colorado.

Working in his dad’s restaurant growing up in Winnipeg. He had a fantastic relationship with his dad. His mom died at a young age but he loved Mollie. She was an amazing woman. He met my mom in Toronto, Canada and they moved out to the West Coast that was there home for 46 years.

My dad was a very hard worker and he loved his job until he retired from it. He taught me so many lessons of  things I still do to this day. He helped me succeed in my studies and helped me write many English essays. He helped me do what I loved in my life and stood by me when things were really hard for me. He believed in me. He protected me like a dad should. He loved me and adopted my brother and I into his life.

I love the legacy he has left behind. Many who knew him loved him. I have so many memories of him. I miss him everyday but the best thing of all is I get to see him again in heaven. That’s the greatest thing out of all of this. Now he can run again and walk on the beaches and do all the things he loves in heaven. Heaven had a huge party when he came up there and everytime I see cool Clouds like this morning they were rays coming through the sky. I know he’s watching out over us. Until we meet again. I love you. ❤️

On Sunday night my dad breathed his last breathe. The last few months have been really hard on him and he declined rapidly. He died peacefully in his sleep.

My dad was the most amazing man. I’m so honored I got to spend the time I did with him. I met him for the first time when I was 14 years old. I came to Canada to meet my mom after a long separation. He was standing beside my mom at the airport and I remember how tall he was. He worked for the ferries then and he did all the food. He was will respected for all the work he did there.

He was so kind and accepted me and my brother as his family. Never having children of his own he took both of us in and he became my dad. I loved spending time with him. He protected me and loved me.

Growing up with my step dad and my mom was everything I ever imagined. All the things he taught me including driving, helping me with all my English essays and helping me become the woman that I am today.

Barry loved anything outdoors. Hiking, boating, Rv ing, swimming in the ocean. Walking for hours on the beach. He loved picking up rocks and shells and I have a collection at my house outside. He always found those unique rocks and I treasured each of them.

He was married to my mom for 46 years and the adventures they went on. He loved traveling with his best friend. They went many places together. He loved reading and listening to his records. He loved telling stories about his dad and growing up in the restaurant. Helping out his dad and he loved his two sisters. He was very protective of them.

He loved flowers and was often out in the garden. He loved watching the birds especially the hummingbirds come to the feeder. He knew all the names of the plants. He loved diving and he used to go out and explore the breakwater with his friends.

After he was diagnosed with dementia I got to spend lots of weekends with him while my mom took time off. I loved and treasured those times. Long walks on Cordova Bay Beach, pizza at Romero’s. Coffee up at Matticks and people watching. We laughed lots and even though some of those times were difficult I made the time with him the best it could be.

About a month ago the care home called my mom and say that Barry had fallen out of bed. They said they found him on the floor kneeling and that he looked like he was praying. My dad was not a person who went to church but I know that he was indeed praying. We never know that when our life is ending what happens. I believe that’s the day he reached out to the Lord.

I love how God waited for him to come to Him. Now we knew he was ready to go home. Now he’s in heaven dancing with Jesus and he gets to do all the things he loved on this earth. Today I was driving and the clouds were all cool I’m the sky and I know he’s watching out over us.

He’s the only dad that I ever have loved. My other dad well we know how he treated my brother and I. I will miss him so much but the greatest gift in all of this, is I get to see him again. I look forward to that day so much.

I love you so much and thanks for teaching me all you taught me and for loving me how I deserved to be loved. I am the woman I am today because of you. Until we meet again. ❤️

Getting older is not for the faint of heart. I’m fact it’s hard everything seems to hurt in places that you never imagined. You slow down and sometimes to an almost stop. I have two aging family members. It’s been eye opening to see how the body reacts in different situations.

This past weekend the care home where my dad is put on an amazing Christmas lunch. They decorated up the home with a beautiful Christmas tree and decorated so beautifully. Each resident could have two guests come. Some brought their entire families. My mom invited me to go. The care home was filled with happy people sharing time with their loved ones.

My dad was sleeping when we arrived and the people who worked there tried to wake him up but he was not able to be woken up from his deep sleep. We were able to eat in his room. They set up a table white cloths and made a very special table for my mom while my dad slept. I loved watching how the caretakers interact with my dad. They truly love him. They had to wake him up so he could get his Tylenol in pudding.

My dad was awake for about 15 minutes and my mom and I took turns feeding him but realizing that solids are hard for him to swallow and twice he felt like he was choking. Food even feeling him is getting harder for him. While he was awake my mom went over to him and was taking to him but he can’t communicate with us. He then drifted back off to sleep. My mom and I ate our lunch and hung out. Its hard to watch someone you love so much be like this.

Before we left we both spent time with him and it’s very interesting he can still hear us even though he’s not awake because his body language told me that. I kissed him on his forehead and told him I loved him.

Life is short my motto is to live your life to the fullest everyday and make sure you let your loved ones know how much you love them, because they won’t be around forever.

I grew up in Ireland in the 70’s and up to the mid 80’s. It’s changed so much now and is a tourist town. With 7 children growing up it was tough. We were poor and we struggled. My dad was a dreamer and he often dreamt way beyond his means. He was an architect and spent many hours with his head in his drawing board. He wanted to own his own home so he brought this huge piece of land. It was an old Quarry that needed some serious TLC. I guess it was affordable land back then. It was on a quiet road called Quarry road. It was up in the countryside but it was a mile and half to hike to the bus stop.

Ireland even back then was beautiful. Rolling Hills and always so green. There are tons of old castles half broken down as you drove by with small winding roads with hand made rock walls. If you meet someone you often were backing up to find a spot to pull over for them. The countryside was so beautiful.

As kids we always knew about Leprechauns and up in the Hills are small stone houses that have been painted and they are tipped up. As kids we were always looking for the Leprechauns and the gold at the end of 🌈 rainbows.

We used to go for picnics all of us to the river and we would wade in and someone would always fall into the river. Not a soul was around. We would go to the Wicklow mountains.

My dad loved to fish so every Sunday he would take me fishing with him and he would go in competitions. I would sit and watch him fish or I got to know the people who came to fish. I even fished when I was old enough and I won second prize once. That was very cool.

We would go to a river and you had a net that when you caught your fish, they would go in the net that was in the water and at the end of the competition you would have them weighed and they were thrown back into the river. There were prizes for first, second and third. I got to fish on some great rivers. Once my dad took me into Northern Ireland for a competition. We had to cross the boarder and show our ID. I remember guys with guns and they wanted to check our car so they took out all our seats and everything and threw it in a pile and then we were expected to put it all back together again and drive off.

As we drove on the streets we passed bombed out buildings and when my dad was fishing we could hear bombs in the distance. That scared me a lot. We never went back there again. Sometimes I could hear bombs in the distance while at school or out and about. I can’t imagine being right in the middle of all of that.

I have decided to write a part 2 about living in Ireland. I will write it sometime this week. Thanks for reading so far. 😊