A woman's journey through trials and addiction. Freedom through Hope and Encouragement.
Author: walking in freedom
I am a women who loves to write and I write because for so long I lived in darkness and never spoke about my life and now I want to share my life and my story with others to help and encourage them on this road we call life.
Anybody who knows me, knows that I will stand up for what is right no matter how hard it is. This past week at work I had to tell two people that I was really uncomfortable with how they were treating someone else. They both were taken back and super defensive with me saying that I was uncomfortable. After listening to this last year and now one of the people f bombing the person and saying how incompentant they were. I decided to let them know that it made me really uncomfortable. I’ve still not talked with them because I won’t meet alone with them. I will discuss it but only when I have someone with me.
I hate conflict but I won’t and can’t stand back while two people are tearing down another person. I had to speak up and I will let them know that it’s not ok. Whether they are a child or an adult I will stand up for what is right. I will protect those that need protection.
In all my jobs I have stood up for both children and adults. As a child who had no power in my home to do anything and nobody speaking up for me in my home. People knew something was wrong but they all kept quiet. As I grew up and became an adult I promised myself that I would stand on my principals to protect the vulnerable or people that were being torn down unfairly by others.
I have ruffled a lot of people but I will continue to do what is right. It’s really hard for me to do but I also know that it’s the right thing to do. I love that now I can set boundaries with people and stand my ground. I’ve come a long way in my life. God gave me a huge heart for people and others. I understand and have compassion for those who are picked on or bullied. I understand loneliness, depression and that feeling like you just don’t fit anywhere. Nobody anywhere should feel like this. We all deserve to feel loved, wanted and appreciated.
We are called to help our neighbours. A good friend of mine said to me last night when I was complaining about taking water out of my basement. What would Jesus do? He would have helped out and taken that water out of that basement. Even though I felt it was not my job. I realized that we are called to help others and my landlord is older and he has a sick wife. This also is my home and he’s been very gracious with both Larry and I and so I realized that I’m so glad I was able to help him. This was a lesson in humility for me and I may not have liked it, I did it to help him. This morning I feel gratitude in my heart. This year as I thought about goals for 2021 I wanted to help people more. My attitude adjusted when I realized that I was given an opportunity to help a neighbour. I’m grateful for the friend who made me stop and realize that this was a good thing.
Just like the people that are coming over to put in a sump pump to help the landlord. We are all banning together to help out. When I die I want people to know that I will lend a hand to others no matter what. There are things in our lives that we don’t want to do but doing them makes you feel so much better inside.
Reach out to someone today. 🙂 Pay it forward to someone else. Bring a smile to the face of someone.
Happy New year. What a year it’s been. I was reading the blog I wrote last year about New years and what I hoped for this year. Much of it was unprecedable but one thing did come true. I got my dream job working as an Early childhood educator in Kindergarten. I’ve been so blessed to be part of the pilot project at my school. So even though I had a lot of health challenges I waited patiently for this. Even though this year was difficult at times I came through it well. I was reflecting on this the other day, I think it’s because of all the really hard things I’ve done in my life. This was not that bad even the pendemic I just went with the flow. I know many who struggled and it was very hard on them. I Believe God prepared me at the beginning of the year through my injury.
My word for 2021 is surrender. Getting rid of unnecessary distractions. This seems to have gotten worse since covid. I want to spend less time on social media and more time on important things. I want to spend more time with the Lord, I’ve been listening lots to the Psalms my pastor does every Tuesday. I want to read the Psalms every day not just whenever. I want to be more disciplined in my walk with the Lord. Surrender can be my bad habits I fall back on when I get stuck or need comfort.
I chose other words as well. One of them I love is simplify. I want my life to be simple I want to not take anything for granted. To stop and watch the birds one of my favorites is to watch them on my feeder on my back deck. To have fun and laugh more. Learn new things. I decided about a month ago I wanted to learn how to play the ukulele and I love it. I signed up for an online course. I never played a string instrument before. I’m having fun learning.
Deterimation is another word for 2021. My goal this year is to work full time at my job. I’m only working part time now and it’s difficult. At the end of March I’m supposed to get benefits but I don’t have enough hours at my job so I’m going to ask if there is anyway my job could be extended to one more day a week. It doesn’t hurt to ask. I also want to make sure that I’m open to accepting others for where they are in life. God has opened up my heart and mind on this. It’s been challenging at times but God has been putting me in situations where I can learn more. I’ve been reading more as well.
So whatever you choose for next year if it’s a word or how to better yourself in some way. I pray this upcoming year will be better in some way for each of us. Happy New year to each and everyone of you. Thank you for taking time to read my blog and I so appreciate all of you. ❤️
I will not be sad to see this year come to an end. The word I chose at the beginning of this year was perseverance. This was such a perfect word for me because I’ve been challenged more this year then I can remember in a long time. Throughout all the challenges I have to say that I’ve grown so much in so many areas of my life. I believe with all the things I have endured this year that God prepared me in a huge way for Covid. I started my year three weeks into January and I hurt my SI joint and hip at work. I was off work for two and a half months. It’s really hard to look after yourself when your on your own, but my friends from church stepped in and cooked me meals for a couple of weeks. That was so nice for each of them to come to my home. I knew I was loved.
I had physio often and then WCB sent me to bootcamp. That about killed me. Who in their right mind works out 4 hours a day. WCB wanted me to join this gym and that’s how long you were expected to come in and workout. I think their Motto is no pain no gain. Thank goodness I was working small amounts to get back to work. Then Covid hit and Spring break and we didn’t go back to school. I was used to being at home so it wasn’t that bad for me.
In the end of May I broke my finger. It’s the third time I’ve broken the tip on this finger. Holy cow I had forgotten that broken fingers hurt like hell. I could morning. Good thing we had Cerb which helped me through 6 more months of no work. School remained close only to those for essential workers and I could not work with a broken finger. So I went to physio for it.
I stopped going to a counselor I had gone to for 6 years. I never realized how much I relied on this person for so many things. It has been a hard transition but I know I’m in a much healthier place and with a really good support system I know I can do this. Grief has been hard and plentiful for me this year as well. Living in my own without my husband, learning all the things it takes to look after a home in your own it’s a lot but I’ve been doing it. Grief from not having my counselor in my life the transition was hard for me and then the death of my grandpa. He lived to almost be 105. New years eve would have been his birthday. When you lose someone all that grief from all the other people comes trickling back. I’ve cried a lot this year.
Tears are good and healthy and a must to continue forward in this life. Pain makes one preservere more. On Monday I needed that perseverance so much when God had me come home from work because of snow. Thank goodness He did because there was a flood in my basement and I pumped water out of it for 6 and a half hours. I was so exhausted from lifting up the heavy shop vac to the sink to dump out the water. As this year comes to a close I will be thinking of a new word for 2021.
I love this time of the year. I love celebrating advent and thinking about what each candle means. HOPE – We have so much to be hopeful for this season. If I didn’t have hope in my life I would have nothing. Hope is what motivates me to keep moving forward. Hope encourages me to do better and to know with Christ in our lives we have everything.
The opposite of fear is PEACE. You can’t have peace in your life if your fearful. I find great peace in reading God’s word and praying. I also love writing and have discovered it brings huge peace to my soul. I have a message board and on my board right now I have the verse ” The peace of God which transcends guards your hearts and minds.” Phillipians 4:7
LOVE- I love that we should love everyone like we want to be loved ourselves. How many scriptures in the Bible talk about Love❤️ So many. Today in school the children made me a card and inside they told me how much they loved me. We all want to be loved by someone. The greatest gift of love is through our Lord and Saviour. He loves us unconditionally no matter who we are. I’m reminded so much that He loves me and when I feel lonely He’s always there.
JOY – Last week we were asked in church who or what gives us joy in our lives. I told them that my Grandpa Jack brought so much joy to me and everyone around him. He was an amazing man. He loved everyone and everyone loved him. He was always smiling and laughing. He lived life to the fullest. Even through my grief I can smile and think of stories about my grandpa. My family and friends also bring me great joy. The children at school and their teachers. I love their hearts for the children. I love the boy I do respite care for he’s become part of my family and I’m part of his. This young boy brings me so much joy in my life.
What are you joyful for this season? This time of the year I love that we get to Celebrate the birth of Christ. I never get tired of this story. What an awesome celebration.
My grandpa Jack was born in 1915 He survived the Spanish flu. He was 3 years old when that happened and he survived our pendemic now as well. Jack was a survivor. He was a Jock so he was good at everything and was very active in his life up until a couple of months ago. Jack owned his own restaurant in Winnipeg and my step dad Barry grew up around his restaurant and his dads coffee shop. There is a menu in my parents home that came from the restaurant. It’s amazing the prices of the food. Next time I go I will take a photo of it. I often hear stories about the restaurant. Everyone who lived in that town knew Jack and his restaurant. The coffee shop had a place to sit down and they had the best ice-cream sundae’s.
Jack and Mollie were well known in Fort Rouge for their family business, Ellett’s Restaurant from 1950 till they retired to Victoria in 1979. Jack started in the restaurant business in 1937 with the Leland Coffee Shop, later building his own restaurant, Ellett’s, in 1950. Jack’s life always centered around family, exercise and work, always wishing he had more time for the first two. Out of necessity much of his life before retirement was spent working. However, as busy as he was, he would always manage to spend time with us swimming, waterskiing and going for boat rides on the river. He loved his family and he loved to laugh. He was always moving…walking, working in the yard. One of Jack’s favorite things to do in his later years was to listen to his music.
When grandpa Jack turned 100 years old he got a letter from the premier of Canada and a letter from the Queen. Jack loved love so much and he had the best sense of humor. As you can tell from all his photos he was always happy and smiling. He loved people and people loved him.
He loved gardening and when he still lived in his home his garden was like Butchart gardens. I would tease him about it. When his wife Molly was alive she had a greenhouse and always had lots of plants on the go. They had lots of fruit trees as well. I often went home loaded down with fruit. Molly had a green thumb. Her favorites were her rose bushes. Both of them loved animals and had a black and white cat named Cinder. After Molly Jack got a dog he rescued named Grace.
Jack loved walking and walked up until 2 months ago when he could not do it anymore. If you ever walked with him he’d leave you in his dust and you’d have to run to keep up to him. One day Larry and I went for a walk with him with his dog. We literally ran almost the whole way and he kept asking us why we couldn’t catch up to him. He thought that was really funny. Every time we went for a walk or should I say a run. He beamed as we struggled to keep up to him.
Another great thing about my grandpa was he was the best ping pong player you’d ever seen. He killed all good players with how fast and skilled he was. Even at 95 he always won. He had a table in the basement of his house. His moves were amazing. Every time he won he joked about us losing.
When he could drive no longer he gave me his pride and joy his car. I drove that car with my head held high. I was so sad when I had to sell it as it for harder and harder to start. Jack loved boating and brought a zodiac and he used to go full tilt everywhere he went. There is no slow speed with that man.
I loved this man so much. He is the best and the grandpa that I spent the longest with. My first Christmas I met my mom and step dad for the first time. I met him and Molly and from day one they excepted Paul and I into their family. We saw them every Sunday we would go for dinner. He’s my grandpa through and through. I have so many funny stories and great memories of him. I will miss you so much. I already do. I love you so very much grandpa. ❤️
Grief I’m sick of it. This year has been one of my toughest years I’ve had in a very long time. I know we must go through grief to move on with our lives but I’ve had three lots of it this year. That’s a lot more than most have to do. First I was still grieving Larry moving to the US and being gone. I was married for 19 years and yes our life was not perfect but I loved him. Slowly I got used to being in my own and being surrounded by my friends and now I hardly grieve at all from that.
Then I quit a counseling relationship one I had built for the last 6 years. A person who stood by me in so many areas of my life. It was my decision to leave and I feel I can do it on my own but I did not realize how much it would hurt leaving. This person is someone who I could reach out to if I was having a good day or a hard day or I just needed to know what I was doing was right. She was there a lot for me. I still am grieving that relationship. I miss her a lot.
Then on Sunday my grandpa died. He Almost made it to his 105th birthday. He died of old age. It’s been a hard week for me. Really hard. Work has been so good to me and I was able to take off five days. I’m so glad because I can’t concentrate on much and I get frustrated easily. I’m Exhausted it takes all I have to just get up and do things. I’ve forced myself to put up Christmas lights, go out today. When I am feeling not so raw I will write about my grandpa he was an amazing man. As I was sitting in my grief a couple of days ago I realized that my grandpa is the only grandpa I was able to have a proper relationship with in my life.
When I found my mom again I got to know her mom and dad my grandparents for only for a short while before they both died. I bearly remember my other grandparents and I hardly ever saw them. Grandpa Jack accepted me into his life and I’ve had such an incredible long relationship with him. He loved people and he loved to laugh. Everyone loved him so much. I’m so blessed he helped mold me into who I am today. I love you Grandpa RIP❤️
Feeling like you belong is the best feeling in the world. I love that I get to stay in one school and really feel like I belong. I’ve been in my class for two months. It feels like I’ve been there forever. It’s such a perfect fit for me. The kindergarten teacher is awesome and I love so much from her every day. She’s got such compassion for each and everyone of those children.
As I was leaving today for the weekend the children were saying goodbye. The teacher asked them if they wanted to say Anything to me. Almost all of them put up their hands. I was told hope you have a good day, Thank you for helping us today, I love you, lots said have a great day. Good bye said one. I told them my best part of the day was spending time hanging out with each of them.
As I left I smiled at feeling like I belong with them in their class. For so long in school I moved from school to school. That is hard because when you feel like you belong then you have to always leave. That’s the hardest thing for me. For so long in my life I had a hard time fitting and feeling like I belonged anywhere. When I left the only family I knew. I had to leave my siblings whom I loved. I saw them one more time and I have never seen them since.
When I moved from Ireland to Canada I didn’t belong anywhere. I didnt fit. Many times in my life I have felt I didn’t belong. Now I don’t feel like that anymore. I belong to my class and a great school. I belong to my church, I belong to an awesome life group with amazing woman who love Christ. I belong with my Good friends. I no longer feel like I don’t belong. I belong and I feel special to many people whose paths I cross. It’s such a great feeling to belong.
Today is American Thanksgiving. I’m so thankful for all of my American friends. I have a lot of them in different states. I have a lot of them who live in NC. My husband and I used to live there for 5 years. We lived up in the Mountains in a cute town called Black Mountain. It’s nestled near the Blue Ridge Parkway. That is the most Amazing drive and the scenery is to die for. The blue Ridge Parkway runs through many states.
The Blue Ridge Parkway is a National Parkway and All-American Road in the United States, noted for its scenic beauty. The parkway, which is America’s longest linear park, runs for 469 miles through 29 Virginia and North Carolina counties, linking Shenandoah National Park to Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Wikipedia
It’s such a beautiful drive. I loved living in the Blue Ridge Mountains so much and made many friends. I’m still blessed to have many of them still in my life. It’s gorgeous Countryside. Well worth a visit if you’ve never been there. Southerns are amazing friendly people that welcome you into their neighbourhoods and bring you dinner. Southern hospitality is like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
I have an awesome friend who lives in Arkansas and runs a ranch where they rescue horses and team them up with children. I went to visit her and I’d never been to Arkansas before. It’s beautiful but can be extremely hot like when I went. I also have another good friend living in this state as well.
One of my favorite places to visit is Central Oregon. It’s my home away from home. I often write about it. I love it so much and have been to visit in both winter and summer. I have some of my best friends who live there. Those snow colored mountains make my heart skip a beat Every time I see them. I hate covid because our border has been closed for so long. I had hoped to return to Bend this Christmas. Now I’m hoping I can go back and visit in the summer. I’m hoping to go and volunteer at the ranch of rescued dreams. The ranch known as Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch.
I’m so blessed and Thankful for all my friends who live there. So many good memories and good times. I also have other friends scattered across the US I’m thankful for each of them as well. God has blessed me with many great people in my life. I am truly blessed.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ there is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31 This verse is mentioned in the Bible eight different times. God wants all of us to love our neighbours so much so that He commanded us. We also need to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength.
Part of loving our neighbours means we need to love ourselves as well. How can we love others if we can’t hold that love ourselves. I’m learning a lot about love lately. God is showing me that I need to be more open and love everyone. Jesus He loved everyone and never judged anyone for who they are. Grace takes the seed of His love and the soil of our heart and creates fruit for the kingdom of God.
The Bible says, “it’s God who works in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure” (Phillipians 2.13). Loving Him and our neighbor pleases the Lord. Grace helps us do this. Grace teaches us love and respect for ourselves and for our neighbors. When loving others we need compassion. God has given me huge compassion for others. I understand those who have been picked on for whatever reasons. I was bullied a lot in school for being different.
Loving our neighbours to me also means building up others and giving them our encouragement. There is so much tearing down of others that we all need encouragement in our lives. My love extends to everyone no matter who they are. Even if it’s uncomfortable sometimes.
God is showing me that in many areas of my life. The best feeling in the world is knowing that you are loved by God first and then by others. Feeling loved and accepted is huge. Reach out to people in your life and show them God’s love today. ❤️