Love always finds a way

” Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited. Does not act improperly, is not selfish is not provoked and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things believes in all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. ”  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

It is often said that love conquers all and that love is the greatest. Love gives us healing and life and binds us together. God’s love has conquered all, because God is love and He’s already won. Someone reminded me this week that ” Love is full of loss and there is always the risk of love, but it is still worth the loving.” I love that because love is one of the greatest things, but also can bring great heartache. I’ve had a week of grieving the loss of Bruce. I will miss seeing him each week on zoom for church. I hate seeing how much heartache my friend is going through from the loss of her husband. I feel sadness for her and her family. I feel sadness for my friend who is in a coma. Another beautiful soul. Even through my sadness I feel total peace and God is using Elicia in her coma. I’ve seen God’s hand in the whole situation. She should not be alive from what she’s endured but God has been with her step by step. She now opens her eyes when her family comes close. She’s not able to move but she’s responding. I love what her family says she’s resting with the Lord right now.

I don’t understand why some people live and others don’t but God knows when we are born and when we die. Even though love is hard sometimes, it’s the greatest gift we can endure. For now I’m going to keep loving the people in my life and not take any of them for granted. I see God’s love all around me through my grief and each day. Thank you Lord for giving me people in my life to love and pray for. GOD IS MOVING!!!!

Watch “”Ain’t No Grave / Alive Forever Amen” // Travis Cottrell feat. Elicia Brown // Live” on YouTube

This is Elicia she sings on Beth Moore’s praise team for Living Proof Live. I found out last night on Wednesday the day my friend ‘s husband died she had a brain aneurysm and they removed the clot but it pressed on her brain and she’s in a coma. This Woman is an amazing woman who loves the Lord with all of her heart. She’s been huge positive in my life and has an amazing testimony. Her story is not over yet. She’s got a precious 5 year old daughter. Praying for healing for her. She’s not woken up yet. 15 years ago I heard this woman sing at a Beth Moore conference. She stood up and sang and lifted the roof off the building. I knew there was something very special about her. Ever since that day I’ve been friends with her on Facebook. I’ve chatted with her many times on messenger. She’d tease me that I was her Canadian friend. She told me that she loved Vancouver and one day we would meet. I’ve watched her life and singing career take off. I watched her fall in love. I watched her child being born and prayed for her when she had an infection after birth.

I watched her make the toughest decision and leave her husband with her child and the clothes on her back. She had no idea how she would look after her daughter. Her friends and family surrounded her. She helped me always was there for me when I needed to talk. She helped me with decisions in my marriage and she speaks out on many topics and has a huge passion for the Lord.

Her story is not over yet she’s writing a book. I recently encouraged her to keep writing. She’s one of those people that you just instantly love. I guess that’s why God had her in my life. She’s a single mom with a precious five year old daughter. I do believe in the power of prayer and many are praying for her. I already lost a friend last week in still grieving that. I don’t want to add Elicia to that as well. Praying for her to wake up from her coma and be healed from her aneurism.

Thank you. I thought this song could help you see who you were praying for. “Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”Joshua 1:9


It seems like this past year is a season of grief for me. I just land on my feet and then I’m back into grief again. I hate grief so much because it feels like my heart is broken in two. One thing I have learned is to grieve grief. Even though it’s really hard for me and sometimes I feel as though I will cry and not stop. It’s also a time of reflection for me. I see God in things around me and I know He is near. On Tuesday I saw a bald eagle outside my window and after a hail storm I saw a rainbow.

The day before my friend Jenni died I saw a bald eagle up in the tallest tree in the park outside my window. I knew that even though I could not be with her, I knew God had her in the palm of His hands. The next day she died an awesome fight. On Tuesday I saw a big bald eagle and I knew that God was near. Yesterday evening my good friends husband died. He also fought a good fight. He was an amazing man. He was the quiet type but when he spoke, he had such wisdom. Up at a church camp he shared in our group how he met his wife. He talked about his Mission work they did in Nepal and how their children and them helped so many others.

He was a very soft spoken man who loved the Lord and his family so much. I didn’t know him long but I got to know his wife well and she talked lots about him. I’m so sorry after his heart surgery life has been so difficult for him. It doesn’t seem fair that his life is lost. It does however make me reflect on my life and how to never take it for granted. Life is to short and its precious. B he effected many people’s lives. This will be a huge loss in our community. I’m really sad by this.

” The Lord is near the brokenhearted, He saves those crushed in Spirit.” Psalm 34:18

Ask and you shall receive

I don’t know about you, but I hate asking for things. I have a friend who shared a story recently about knocking on someone’s door and asking them if they were willing to sell their home. It took her a bit to get the courage to do it. She talked about stepping out and having the courage to ask for something you want. I thought to myself I don’t think I could do that.

At the end of September last year I landed my dream job at a school down the road from me. The only downside to this job was it was part time and living on my own you can’t sustain the high cost of living here. I prayed lots about more work and had others pray for me. I felt I was supposed to tough it out and keep going. I had to trust each month I could pay my rent and my bills. After Christmas I felt I had to do something whether it entailed an after school job. I put out my feelers and got responses back but still felt I was supposed to stay where I was. I couldn’t shake that feeling.

What am I supposed to do God? I prayed lots about it and felt I needed to reach out to the people in my pilot project. I told them the honest truth and asked if I could get more hours. I thought well I have nothing to lose by asking. I got a response right away let me see what we can do and would you want to work at two schools. I said yes. I waited and I am not a patient waiter. After three weeks my principal saw me in the hallway and told me to check my email there was really good news for me. God provided me with the amount of hours I needed and I got to stay right where I am now. Not only that now I could get full benefits as well. I felt like I had won the lottery. I had worked really hard on my position and my hard work and my trust in the Lord had paid off.

Ask and you shall receive. I will never doubt or feel silly again about asking. Thank you Chelsea for sharing this story because without hearing this, I would never have stepped up to ask. God says ” And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

The sound of Laughter….

The last two days we have had more snow then we are used to seeing. I think snow is just what we needed to help us continue on in the pendemic. The best thing about this snow was the sound of Laughter. Children and adults had fun. The snow brought joy to a world that hides their smiles behind their masks. Laughter is not a sound that we have heard lots of lately. Adults could have fun with their children and really spend quality time together.

One of my favorite things to hear is children laughing. The snow brought out so many people. Every hill had someone on it. Children and adults dusted off those toboggans and hit the hills. Garbage bags were used, anything that could be used to sled. I saw people out with their skii’s. In all the wonder the snow brought that peaceful lull that comes with the fall. Dogs were barking, my dog searching for his ball he lost. He bounded across the deep snow.

I saw many snowmen made with different colored scarves and hats. The snowman in the park across the street from my house had a traffic cone on its head. For two days the city stood still and people enjoyed life. For that time it was like there was no pendemic. 😎⛄❄️It gave people hope.

Been reflecting a lot lately…….

I’ve been reflecting a lot on my life in the last couple of days. I’ve been angry about the result of my knees. I was shocked when the surgeon said my knees were like that of a 70 year old. I was angry because I know a big part of that is to do with the starvation that I endured for 14 years. It rose up inside me anger at my dad and how his actions still effect my life. It brought up a lot of feelings about him. I wanted him to pay but I realized this was another part of forgiveness. Forgiveness is like an onion that gets peeled layer by layer. Someone close to me reminded me that yes it could be the starvation part but I also have played a role of sedentary that does not help my knees. I also realized that striking out to my dad was not the option God wanted me to go. I sought forgiveness for him again. I’m not forgiving him for what he did to me but releasing this to the Lord because it’s not worth one single ounce of breath.

I’ve come so far in my life that wasting my time on wanting him to pay is not my job. God will deal with him in His time. I let it go and gave it back to him. I feel at peace again. I’m so thankful that I can go to God when I feel like this and it completely changes me and my heart again. I listened to an amazing interview of my friend Kim Meeder she said something that was very profound that God told her she said “Do you now understand why I allowed you to walk in the valley of the shadow of darkness? I’m asking you to help others find a way through their pain. Your pain always has a purpose as we give it to Him.”

My pain has a purpose, I chewed on that for a long time. I realized that God has shown me many times He wants me to help others through hope and healing. My pain has not gone unnoticed but God will use it to help others. That is the bigger picture of my life. “When my people who are called by my name humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their evil ways. Then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin and heal their land. My eyes will be open and my ears will be attentive to prayer.” 2 Chronicles 7:14 – 15. What a promise this is.

I feel I’m supposed to continue writing my memoirs where I’ve been, what God has done in my life and how it all ties together. I will still share parts of it on my blog. That story needs to be told.


In church this past weekend we talked about justice and how that looks like in our lives. I’ve been quiet the past week or so because I got a bad report on my knee and I had a really hard time with it. I’ve got a lot of arthritis in it and it’s down to the bone and the surgeon said they are like the knee of a person of 70. I felt really angry because my knees are so bad from the lack of nutrition I had in my life for 14 years. It’s takes a toll on your body. I’ve already had to deal with my teeth being so bad.

Poor nutrition or lack of it as a kid not only effects you as a child but as I keep seeing it effects your life even in adulthood. It changes the way your brain is formed and can cause illness and depression. For me it’s now why my knees are so bad. I’m tired of hearing about things that effect me in my life because of what my dad and step mom did. Justice is a word that’s been coming up lately. Justice is needed in this world for people that have been abused, neglected or vulnerable.

Justice is also taking back your life that was stolen from you. For 14 years of my life I endured hell. I’m done with that. It’s time to take back that control of my life that was taken from me. I’ve been praying about it all. I have sought counsel on it and I will let you know more when I’ve asked the questions. This kind of justice is not me being so angry and wanting revenge. There is Godly anger that’s how I feel.


Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. Isaiah 30 :18

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. Isaiah 30:18-19

What do you need justice for in your life?

Missing children part 2

My last blog I’m not sure why I didn’t write about the only reason why I was able to get through all my truama as a child and adult was not in my own strength but it was all on God’s strength. God is the healer of all pain. He is one who offers Hope and wholeness. God offers us permanent adoption into His family when we ask for it. We are adopted sons and daughters God’s arms are open wide and we are welcomed into His family. Gods truth shows us that we are no longer orphans and never alone.

We will still struggle in life but that feeling of never being alone is awesome. God’s love is huge, because I have chosen to be part of His family, He has healed me from all my wounds. I now live in Freedom. That’s the best gift of all. I was reminded of this truth today and wanted to share it with you all. This is the greatest gift in life. ❤️


I want to thank everyone who has read and liked my blog. I so appreciate the blog community and all my friends and family who read it. Last night was a part out of my memoirs. I will be sharing more and more of that this year. All my blogs are written with what God lays on my heart to write. I love writing, it truly has become a passion for me. I pray that my writing can help and encourage others. Thanks again and if you really like my blog you can like it comment, or just enjoy it.

Blessings to you all today. ❤️

Missing children

I just watched Chicago Med tonight and wow it really effected me a lot. One of the patients in the hospital came in as she was not feeling well. Turns out she was a child that had been kidnapped and now was an adult. She was taken from her home at about 8 years old or so. She had been taken away from everything and everybody she knew. She had to grow up with strangers who took her. They stripped her of every thing even her name.

In Canada 50,000 children are missing each year. Most are found within a short period of time, others it’s long term missing. Some are abducted by strangers and most are taken by one parent or another. This is staggering 800,000 children in the US are missing, injured, run away from home or abducted.

The girl in this tv show for reunited with her mom in the end but what they don’t show you and for many abducted people is how life is after you get reunited. The hardest thing in this world is to come back and live life in a life you have never lived. For one you don’t know any of the people you’ve been reunited with. You don’t know them, their home, their city, schools nothing. I lived this life don’t get me wrong coming and meeting my mom and living here saved my life. My mom was so happy to have me back. I was gone for 12 years abducted by my real dad and taken with my brother to Ireland.

Being taken from my mom at such an early age leads to many issues with attachment. That’s the foundation for a healthy childhood. I was almost two and my brother was 5 and a half. For 12 years we lived apart from our mom. At 14 my brother and I met my mom. At 16 I moved here from Ireland with my one suitcase. That’s all I owned.

It’s hard enough being a teenager without now living a completely different life. I was enrolled in school. Canada and Ireland the cultures are so different and the children teased me so much for being different. Oh top of being different I had been brought up in a world of shelter and not having experiences other children had. I also endured a lot of abuse all types. I was extremely shy and withdrawn. To top it off I knew nobody except my brother but he was already out of the house trying to live his own life here in Canada.

Life was so confusing the rules made my head spin. I had no rules and no boundaries and I lived in fear. My mom was really good with me but we fought often because too much space scared me from how I was used to growing up. I had great survival skills but no social skills. What are you supposed to do with all of that? I did end up in counseling for long periods of time to sift through all the pain and trauma I had endured.

Despite all I have gone through in my life. My life today is really good. I’ve gone through addiction two different kinds and come out on the other side of both. When life was really hard and tough I never gave up and I always worked harder then anyone else to accomplish what I wanted. I am the woman who I am today because of my experiences in life. I have overcome so much and have so many people in my life who love me. I believe with all my heart that is why I succeeded so much in life. I was given all the tools to live life in a world that is not always forgiving. This world is tough especially when I was just trying to fit in like everyone else.