Living with post traumatic stress disorder can be challenging at times. Most of the time it lays dormant in my life and is not an issue in my life. Today it got triggered in a huge way. Something good transformed into a problem quickly and it led to my dog knocking over an old dog who had come into the field with it’s owner and two other dogs to play with my dog. I’m not sure why my dog came over quickly to the dog as you could see it already had mobility problems. I think our dog was wanting to play but the poor thing went down and the owner freaked out at us. I stood there horrified I did go over to make sure the dog was ok but the lady was freaking out so much and crying hard. We put our dog on leash and waited to see what was happening with the other dog. The older dog whom the woman said was 15 years old got up which was good. Meanwhile the lady had 2 other dogs with her and another woman. They turned on my dog and were attacking him which apparently is what packs do. The other lady did pull off her dogs and 2 more times they came into attack my dog. My husband was there and even though the dogs were attacking mine it was just small bites. The lady left to take her dog back to the car and we talked to the other lady would her dog be ok.
Oh man we left I was shocked that I had watched this whole thing transform before my eyes. I was very shook up and my dog had just stood there while he was being attacked. He just stood there. I’m glad the other dog was ok. Our dog likes to wrestle other dogs so maybe he expected this dog to wrestle back. I’m glad it worked out for each of us. I was shaking when I got home and I called my trainer to tell him what had happened. He was good and calm as I recalled the situation. All day my head has been in a serious fog and over and over in my head I keep recalling the incident. My PTSD was triggered and now I’m feeling on edge and jumpy. I also feeling huge numbness and my head is in bad shape. It makes me feel so vulnerable and I hate when I get triggered like this.
The next few days I will have to be good to myself and look after me. I hate this feeling but writing about it helps a lot and reaching out to others and asking them to pray and then when my body feels safe it will just go back to normal. I’m glad these symptons only surface once in a while and not all the time like they used to. I used to get nightmares and then I was scared to sleep. I also used to use addicton to numb out the pain. Now I deal with it the best I can with much prayer.
If any of you experience PTSD or huge anxiety out there, there is help you don’t have to deal with this on your own. I appreciate all the people I have in my life to help me in this journey called life.
Beauty from Ashes. 