Everyone who knows me, knows that I grew up in Ireland. I lived in Ireland for 12 years of my life. I wish I could tell you how awesome it was growing up there. Unfortunately, my life growing up there was a nightmare. Something that still is painful for me to think about today but I do sometimes think about it. Today on facebook one of the girls I grew up with put up photos of her mom and her as a child. One of the photos almost makes my heart stop when I see it and I can so vividly see her mom. Her daughter’s name is Sarah like mine. Her mom Mrs. Brady that’s what I called her. I never knew her name apparently passed away 19 years ago today.
When I found Sarah on facebook I asked about her mom and when she told me she had died my heart sank, because I would never get to thank her for what she did for me so many years ago when I was growing up. She literally saved my life. I thought today I would talk about her on the anniversary of her death.
I knew her as Mrs. Brady she was such a warm generous woman I would dream she was the mom I never had growing up. She never asked me about my home life but she obviously knew in her heart that things were really wrong in my home. I was friends with Sarah and the two of us hung out lots in school. It was during one summer when Mrs. Brady asked my family if she could take Sarah and I on holidays. My family said yes probably thinking oh! good we don’t have to see her for a week. I remember we stayed in a hotel and had so much fun and I remember laughing lots something I rarely did. I trusted this woman so much. Back in those days I’m sure it was expensive to take me on holidays with them but that’s what she wanted to do. I wished in my heart I did not have to go home.
At the end of the week I begged to stay longer with them but I knew I had to go home again. I did not want to go home ever again. Mrs. Brady told me that I could go on holidays again with them again. The night before I was to go home I went into the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and swallowed a lot of white pills. I remember feeling really funny and weird and Mrs Brady rushed me to the hospital where I had to have my stomach pumped out. What an awful feeling and I was so sick. I had to stay in the hospital for a bunch of days. She had called my family to say I was staying with them for another week. Everyday Mrs. Brady came to the hospital to see me and stayed with me. She cared for me more than my family ever cared for me.
The top photo of Mrs. Brady with Sarah in the white shirt is how I remember her. After I got released from the hospital Mrs. Brady brought me hot lunch tickets and Sarah would bring them to school so that I always had lunch at school. The tickets again were not cheap but she brought me lunches for years. God brought this incredible woman into my life and I owe her so much. Thank you Mrs. Brady for caring about me and treating me like your family and saving my life.
Life is worth living no matter how hard it seems at the time. Suicide at that time seemed like the only option for me, but I was so scared and I did not want to do this. I needed help and this was why I thought this was the only option. I did not want to die I just wanted my pain to stop. My family never knew what had happened and I’m sure they wouldn’t have cared but Mrs. Brady cared for me enough to help me out. Sarah and her family left St. Andrews College and I lost touch with Sarah and her family. My whole life I never forgot Mrs. Brady and knew one day I would track her down and say thank you. Now I thank God for putting her in my life when I needed her.
Suicide is never the answer if you feel like you can’t go on. Reach out to others and get help you do not have to do this alone. Life is worth living.