Grief

Grief is hard no matter what is happening in ones life. My husband left to move away and live out his dreams. He wanted me to go with him but for many reasons I don’t want to go. So he is gone and I am here. I’ve been having a hard time with it. I’m in the throws of grief. My heart feels broken and life just seems to be passing me by. I’m having a hard time with things like church. I feel overwhelmed lots. Last weekend I was downstairs in the church basement having potluck after the service and people all happy and chatting away and laughing. I felt like I was just not even there.

Grief effects people in so many ways for me it’s been making me really sad and that overwhelmed feeling and feeling like I just need quiet and not have to deal with too much of anything. My body physically aches and I feel exhausted. Today has been a bit better. Work is great and distracts me from what is happening. Today my heart does not feel as bad and day by day as long as I look after me will get better and better. I have recieved so many messages texts phone calls and prayers. Even though Larry is gone I feel peace I know that peace is from the Lord.

I sure do have a lot of amazing people in my life. I am a blessed woman. I love how people come together when someone needs something. My church group I belong to has started a meal train for me and so people will bring me food. That in it’s self is such a blessing. It’s hard to make food while in grief. God has promised that He will never leave us no matter what. Even in grief I see God’s grace and goodness around me and I see that so much in the children at the school I’m at right now. One boy this morning said he was thankful that I could come into his classroom and help out. This boy was in grade two. I watched another boy with autism I help him while his worker goes on her break. He was laughing at something I was doing with the magnets. This laugh just melted my heart. God is using these little people to heal my heart from pain.

No matter what is happening God will use this time for His good and His glory. I’m in the best hands possible. Grief will become less and less and healing will continue and I will be sad less. I have an amazing crazy labradoodle in my life and he makes me smile often. Zeke you are an awesome dog.

Thank you to all those who continue to walk beside me in this difficult time. I appreciate you all very much.