Walking in Grief

This is a poem that George MacDonald wrote :

Do not hurry as you walk in grief, it does not help the journey

Walk slowly pausing often: do not hurry as you walk in grief.

Be not disturbed by memories that come unbidden.

Swiftly forgive, and let Christ speak to you unspoken words. Unfinished conversation, will be resolved in Him. Be not disturbed.

Be gentle with the one who walks with grief. If it is you, be gentle with yourself. Swiftly forgive, walk slowly, pausing often.

Take time be gentle as you walk with grief.

As I struggle with grief it hits when you least expect it. It overwhelmes me and takes my breath away. I’m struggling again it gets easier as time goes on and the grief seems less and less. The last two days I feel like depression is creeping in and I feel so overwhelmed at work. I feel like I’m in a daze as I work with the children in the schools I go to.

I find myself second guessing myself am I supposed to be doing this job and then a child smiles or calls my name. I’m making those connections. That is what gives me a glimmer of hope each day. I found this poem today and realized I cannot rush my grief. I need to walk slowly pausing often and to be gentle with myself and not so critical.

This is also the first time I’m experiencing emotions sober without addiction. That is hard for me. Grief is painful and it hurts. I’m so glad I’m going through this grief without addiction. Crying is good and tears come often. I find myself leaning close to the Lord. He is my comforter, my strength and I look to Him in His word.

Everyday gets a bit easier for now it’s hard. Thank you Lord for all you do for me. As well as the Lord he’s put incredible awesome people into my life. I’m grateful for each and everyone of them.