Trauma

Trauma is awful no matter how it happens. One of the things God has given me is an insight to see trauma in others. As you’ve heard me say before that things do not happen as coincidence. I call them God instances. This past school year I met a young child who had experienced trauma in their life. They reminded me of me as a young girl. They were in survival mode often and trusted no one. When they refused to do things they dug in their feet and you could not get them to budge. I would feel frustrated but then would back off and just give them love and compassion. I love them fighting back because that’s survival. When you have truama in your life if you don’t fight you will die. They knew the teacher so they were able to get them to do things that I could not.

As a child I remember trusting Nobody but I loved people to be kind and caring to me. I still watched from a far but love made me feel good. It was foreign but good. New things were very important to me because I never got them so for this child it was similar. My teacher would go through all the school supplies and those that had little she would top them up with her own. I remember the first day they got to use their markers and this child did not use the markers but carried them like they were made of gold. It took all you could not to have them go out at playtime. As soon as they came in they would run over and pick up the markers. For about a week they were carried everywhere a treasured possession. I explained that in trauma when you don’t get new things they become a comfort and that they become treasured possessions. When the child realized that the markets were still there and were theirs they used them and stopped carrying them around.

Another thing that became an importance was food. If food is scarce or you become worried will you get more, when you get it you want to eat it. When all of a sudden you get great lunches from not having much. It becomes a huge part of your day. Wanting to keep eating and carrying around your lunch kit. For me lunch was non existant, I learned at a young age to steal other kids food so I could eat. I was able to explain why this child did what they did because of experience. I just tell people that I have experience with children in trauma because I do first hand. Or when they came to school in a whirl wind and I knew that today was a day off extra love and support and that learning that day was not on. Similarities were struck often and school was a place of safety. I know that’s why I feel so comfortable working at school now as an adult.

A couple of months before school ended that child stuck to me like glue. They trusted me and it took a long time but because I knew and understood I waited patiently. I always told them I’m here for you no matter what. This was my first year at school and I was challenged often with children but In the end I was able to be there for each and everyone of them. I love my job so much. This is what giving back is all about.

As I think about this, this is what God does for us. He waits patiently for us. He stands by and gives us unconditional love and waits for us to come to Him. Unconditional love is the best feeling in the world as we saw with this child.

1 Corinthians 13 :1  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”