Finding out that I was so behind in all my subjects especially English was good for me to realize that I was not dumb or stupid. After been told that your whole life you start to think maybe it’s true. My high school was awesome and gave me lots of extra help and my teachers were great. I still struggled socially but at least the teasing and bullying stopped so I could relax a bit at school. I made friends and many of them I still keep in touch with today. In two years I caught up to college level which is amazing. I actually was smart. Cool who knew. My brain needed to be challenged and it was indeed.
In 1988 I graduated from high school which was a miracle with all that I had been through. It took a lot of hard work but I never gave up and had a lot of support. After I graduated from high school I went back to Ireland to spend some time with my dad, step mom and my half brother and sisters. Despite what had happened I had missed my siblings so much. I hardly got to say goodbye to them. I had strong relationships with the oldest ones Laura was like my best friend and Lily. We went on another camping trip to the ring of Kerry. It was so nice to be treated like one of the family. I had been worried about returning what would it be like and how would I be treated.
I spent three weeks with them. I also got to see my best friend from school Karen who had missed me terribly. She had left the only school we knew and went to a different school. I had been a huge loss in her life. Things were different when I went home to visit but I was different and it was nice to visit. Even though I had missed them terribly I knew my home was in Canada with my mom. When I left to come back to Canada in 1988 that was the last time I saw my family. I’ve never gone back.
In the September of that year I enrolled in College and took an English course and then I started my Early Childhood Course. I decided to take that course because I wanted to be a voice for children. A voice that Spoke up to protect them. Someone who noticed that if things were wrong at home to speak out. Not one person ever spoke out for me even when there were huge warning signs something was wrong. I still stand of that today. I’ve stood out and up for many children when others refused to. I became an advocate for those who can’t speak out for themselves.
I struggled in my ECE course and could just about figure out class things but had the hardest time putting into practice what I had learned. My first practicum I was lost and super overwhelmed and ended up failing it and to my horror watched my whole graduation class graduate without me. What a failure I felt? I was super depressed. I got fairly good marks in my courses but had no idea how to do it practically.
I finished all my courses but would have to come back and just do practicum the following year. I joined the next year but they had no idea who I was. I worked in a job in child care and then joined them for two practicums and did amazingly well. I just needed more time to perfect it all. I graduated that following and I had gained that confidence that I needed. Success finally. I got a good job and for my second year of ECE I had worked out in the field I had a Chance to go to Ottawa and take my two specialities under three’s and my special needs diploma.
That was an awesome opportunity because I had an advantage because I had already worked in the field. I got opportunities nobody else in my class got. I will write about the two practicums I had in Ottawa because they shaped me into who I am today. I realized that I just needed more time and because I was held back I’m now an awesome outgoing and confident educator. I’ve had many experiences and done a lot of different things in my work. I will write more in my next blog.
We all learn at different rates some of us may need more time but In the end we can do what we need to do. Not everyone learns the same way. I see this in school with children. Patience and understanding is crucial. I’m so glad I had that and amazing support. Thank you to all my teachers. 🙂
Beauty from Ashes. 