Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is hard to deal with when it gets triggered. I find it gets triggered less and less but when it happens I have a tough time. I decided to write about it. Yesterday at work there is a little girl who is scared of the wind. It was a windy day and when we were outside she strarted to get worried about it and she wanted to go back inside. When she is scared of the wind her family will bring her inside. We could not do that as we were outside playing so the educators tried to comfort her in the best way they knew how. They even brought out her blanket and her soother. Nothing seemed to help her. I watched her panic more and more and come up with ways to be able to go inside. Educators would talk to her about why she was scared, nothing helped she became more panicked. Another educator told us that she was playing us and this was not a real thing. That really bothered me a lot because this was truly a fear she had and she was in flight mode. We eventually went inside and then her body was still in that flight mode. She refused to eat, but how could she eat after all of that. Later she slept hard. After her sleep she was back to her self.
This whole situation reminded me of how I am if I am triggered with fear. This little girl does not have PTSD but I saw the signs of fear and I even tried to intervene on her behalf to be told that’s not what was going on or told that she’s making it up to get what she wants. You would think if I have PTSD I may know a little bit about what I saw. People who have no idea about this kind of high stress or truama simply have no idea and if I had no idea I would want to learn to make sure this child’s needs were met. I was angry that my views were cast off as nothing. On my lunch break I looked up fears in young children and how they should be dealt with and that it needs to be taken seriously and when needed proffessional help to intervene. Children can often have big fears of the unknown world around them. I sent the articles to my boss and emailed the children’s organiztion I work for to get them to bring us resources to help her and her family. I explained to my boss that I understood where this girl was coming from. Fear can paralyze anyone, to cast it off as nothing when there clearly is a problem is very dangerous and wrong.
My boss thanked me for what I had given her and told me they would come up with a care plan to help her and strategies for us and her family. After this whole situation yesterday I was upset yes but it’s really hard to educate people if they think they know it all. I felt really sensitive today since this happened. Tonight I found myself in a situation that made me freak out. I fought hard and then wanted to run in flight. If I don’t eat for a long time I get low blood sugars and then panic kicks in from past things and then I freak out. Nothing helps when your already in this, my brain cannot process what the heck you are trying to tell me. The circumstances of tonight were nothing I could control so then it’s harder for me.
Now I just need to spend time in prayer with the Lord to ground me back where I need to be. After eating then I start to realize that it’s ok and I am safe. I can eat now and I will not go hungry. God has me no matter what or how I am feeling. This feeling too will pass. Tonight I will pray for that little girl at work that she will feel validated and loved when she’s so scared. If You don’t know about something listen to others who know what they are talking about. I will listen to you.