I took a short break from blogging this summer I guess there was a lot going on and blogging seemed like the last thing to do. I have to say I missed it a lot. Blogging is therapeutic for me and it’s a way to express my thoughts and feelings. After my 50th birthday I found myself doing and changing things in my life that I have needed to change for a long time. Maybe having a milestone birthday makes things become very real in your life. Now that i’m 50 I am proud to say I’m two years free of addiction. Something I never ever thought I would be able to do. I’m also taking charge of my life and standing up not only for the children in my life but what is in my personal life. I’ve been married for 18 years and well the last 10 of that has been hard and very difficult and painful. One of my good friends told me this past week that no matter what happens in my life I need to REST and “TRUST in the Lord with all your heart. DO NOT LEAN on your ways acknowledge Him, and HE will direct your path. ” Prov 3: 5-6 I’m to stay this course and just walk with my beloved Jesus step for step. He knows the way better then we ever do. I’m to rest in God’s truth.
My marriage is ending and yes it’s not been the best for many years it’s harder when it’s done for real. I really thought I would be married forever and growing old with someone you love not spending life alone/ well I’m not actually alone I have so many supported friends and family and a great dog who loves me no matter what. I also have a Lord who loves me so much more and I’m so glad for this. It’s hard though emotionally, physically and mentally. I finally am standing up for myself in what is right and not using the poor me and addiction to keep me in a marriage that is no longer working for me. This summer we were apart for a month and I loved it on my own and realized that I can do this and I did not miss him at all. It was a good test and I looked after the house and even mowed the lawn for my very first time. I have done things that needed to be done for a long time now have gotten them done recently and even though it was really hard, it’s been one less thing for me to worry about.
I also am ending a career in Early Childhood Education after 30 years of working. I’ve been on a really good contract working one on one with a non verbal boy. I loved my contract so much and learned so many things and met some of the greatest therapists. It opened up a whole new world for me and I realized my passion is helping children that need extra support. I’m unable to do it in my field and for the past 2 and a half years I have had no benefits with my job, no sick time and 4% on my paycheques for holiday time. I recently took a week off to a pinched nerve and got no pay that week and now I’m getting older I need to get a pension again. I’m sad to leave the daycare where I worked but I’m excited to be able to work in the school district and continue to help students of all different ages. It will be a big change but I believe I wil be all right because of how I grew up and how much passion and understanding I have with children and adults. I’m looking forward to learning lots of new things. I will work less hours and get more money which is nice and have a life outside my work.
These feathers are from a bald eagle that were given to me on Sparks Lake on my 50th birthday. Eagles represent to me FREEDOM and the courage to look ahead and everytime I see one I know the LOrd is close to me. Yes my life is changing but God is watching out and over me. These feathers also remind me of the amazing sight I saw on the lake with the osprey fishing and flying along with it’s fish it caught and then out of nowhere the bald eagle swooped down and took the fish from the opspry and flew off into the nearby tree. That was such a spectacular sight a rare sighting. Bald eagles were selected by the founding fathers to be the emblem of the nation. These birds symbolize strength and freedom.
I’m embracing life and it’s changes and I’m looking forward to seeing what GOd will do in this next part of my life. I’m looking forward to contiuning doing His work and helping others. I appreciate all my friends and my family and all my blogger readers. Thank you for your continued support in this journey called life.