Rejection

Rejection is another awful feeling. It makes me feel horrible and as an adult it still stings when it happens to you. I think now I should have broader shoulders but when it’s people who are close to you it hurts even more. Recently I’ve felt this and my first reaction is to ignore them and shut them out. IT’s hard to do and for me and my first reaction is fight/flight. I’m still feeling like shutting them out.

As a child I often felt rejected by my dad and step mom. I never felt loved or wanted. I always thought I was nothing and that’s why nobody cared for me, but now I know that’s a big fat lie. My dads and stepmom were really messed up and now I see none of what I did as a kid was my fault. I still have no idea why they would treat me like that. I still think they must have had mental issues because how could you treat any child like you did with my brother and I.

Rejection seems to follow me around and even as an adult I can’t control how people treat me, but I do know that I’m not putting up with this and even though I cannot control how people treat me I don’t have to stand for it. This is their problem not mine and I’m walking away from it. I already have felt this in my marriage over and over again and that is hard and tough.

Today I decided to forgive the people that I felt rejection from and to walk in freedom with the LOrd. It’s not worth holding a grudge with anyone who has hurt you. Life is too short and I’m not living my life in bitterness. Bitterness and anger and rejection can fester into something really ugly and I lived a lot of life caught in addiction because I blamed my family in Ireland for my crummy family life. Yes my life was really hard and tough but now I am free of that and can live my life as how God intended it to be. I love how God shows us how to love others and forgive. That is our true freedom in this life.

THank you God for showing me this simple concept that can be hard to do. What is God teaching you in your life right now? Are you ready to do the hard thing or are you going to hold on to bitterness and anger. Let go and let GOd move in your life.