Boundaries

Why is standing your ground on boundaries so hard? Why is it easier to just be a people pleaser and give in to those who want us to do things we don’t want to do? This week I stood my ground on two really important things and in 24 hours had two people really angry with me. To me these boundaries I set were really important the first one was my landlord he obviously is used to getting his way so when I stood my ground and told him my rights as a Tennant he stood on my doorstep and insulted me and yelled at me. I stood my ground and he finally left madder that a hatter.

The second boundary I stood on was my family. That’s a hard one. I have remained firm on my decision but now I’m getting the silent treatment. I realized that I now am so much stronger who I am and now was the time to set clear boundaries. Change is hard for everyone especially the person who has never seen me stand on any boundaries. I’m tired of always been the person who needs to do the right thing. What about how I feel? I do so much for every one it’s ok to say no once in a while and not feel bad.

God wants us to help others but not be a push over and have people walk all over us. How many times have I just said yes to something I didn’t want to do, so they would not be mad with me. Too many times. In my marriage I always gave in to smooth things over even though I hated it so much. When I spoke up it went sideways and then I felt I had to apologize so that it would get better.

As I write this I realized that I grew up with so much conflict that my biggest fear was abandonment. I hated conflict so much. Now as I get older I see that it feels good to stand up for what is right. It’s really difficult but sometimes you just have to do it. I’m sure this will work itself out. For now I must remember how far I have come and be proud of myself for standing up.